An Allergic Reaction

On our wedding anniversary, my wife gave me a cat as a gift.

She knew damn well that I had a severe cat dander allergy that once landed me in the ICU.

I handed the cat over to my lawyer friend in exchange for a draft of divorce papers.

Her kept boytoy cornered me and whined, "Blame me for picking the wrong gift. Punish me however you want, just do not make Peyton sad."

Peyton pulled the sniffling boy away and sneered at me with pure disgust. "You are pushing forty, Austin. You are washed up.