Million Dollar Goodbye, The Scumbag's Wedding

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Mrs. Thompson offered me a cool million to ditch her son.

I thought Ethan and I were the real deal, so I was gonna joke about it with him.

Yeah, that didn’t happen. After a pretty great afternoon, I accidentally answered his phone.

"Honey, do you think the wedding invites should be embossed or just plain?"

I felt like I'd been plunged into ice water.

Ethan was getting married? What the hell was I to him?

The day he tied the knot, I boxed up every single memory of us and mailed it to him