Selected Germaphobia, My Selective Wife

My wife is a total germaphobe, but at tonight's party, she peeled a shrimp and hand-fed it to her male intern.

I didn't cause a scene. I just asked for a divorce right then and there.

She looked at me like I had lost my mind.

"Leo is like a little brother to me. What's wrong with taking care of him? You're actually divorcing me over this?"

I didn't argue. Instead, I called her parents on speakerphone.

"I heard you guys have a secret son? I wonder how the tax authorities will feel about that