Chapter 3

3.

Anger is a fleeting thing.

For instance, right now, I was clutching my iPhone, looking at the new message notification that popped up. All my earlier frustration had been tossed into the Atlantic.

In its place was a burning fire of excitement and curiosity.

[Relationship_Guru_X: Hello, sir. I was wondering, are there many couples who manage to repair their relationship after one person asks for a divorce?]

[Guru: It depends on the specifics. But for impulsive divorces, statistics show the reconciliation rate is quite high.]

[Desperate_Husband_NYC: My wife isn't an impulsive person. She's the CEO of a publicly traded company. She's extremely rational. I'm sure she conducted a full SWOT analysis before proposing a divorce. In a case like that... is there anything you can do?]

...A SWOT analysis for a divorce. Jesus. The man really couldn't turn off his business brain.

[Guru: I can't make any guarantees, but I promise I will do my absolute best to help you. Are you interested in my consulting services?]

[Desperate_Husband_NYC: Let's try it. What's your fee? CashApp or PayPal?]

I had no idea what to charge, so I just threw out a low number and sent a Bitcoin wallet address (for anonymity).

[Guru: A $500 deposit. Another $500 upon success.]

He didn't reply for a moment. He seemed to be hesitating.

...No way, did I ask for too much? Is the heir to the Thorne fortune really this cheap?

Just then, a transaction notification popped up, followed by a skeptical message from him.

Notification: Your wallet has received 0.2 BTC (approx. $10,000).

[Desperate_Husband_NYC: Transferred. Your fee is so low. Are you sure you're good at this? I don't want the budget to affect the quality of the consultation.]

Me: ...

I'll never understand the world of the rich.

A wave of guilt washed over me as my fingers flew across the keyboard.

[Guru: Of course, there's no problem! This is a special offer for new clients! I assure you, if we fail, you'll get a full refund!]

[Desperate_Husband_NYC: No need for a refund. If we fail, you can keep the money. I won't be in the mood to spend it anyway. Let's begin.]

[Guru: Understood. First, the most important question: do you have any idea why your wife wants a divorce?]

I must have hit a nerve, because he suddenly opened up.

[Desperate_Husband_NYC: Honestly, I'm not sure. But I suspect it might be because I'm not very good at... expressing myself.]

[Desperate_Husband_NYC: I'm very good at my job. Financial statements, mergers, market analysis―I can do all of that with my eyes closed. But feelings... that's not my strong suit at all.]

[Desperate_Husband_NYC: We've been married for a year, but aside from necessary, formal contact, she never initiates closeness. And I don't know how to initiate it either. Every time she tells me a funny story, I have a hundred things I want to say, but all that comes out is a nod.]

[Desperate_Husband_NYC: I know I'm boring in social situations. I can't tell jokes, I can't flirt, I can't say the sweet things women like to hear. I only know how to speak in data and logic.]

[Desperate_Husband_NYC: To be honest, if the Vance Group hadn't run into financial trouble, and if I wasn't in a position to solve it, she never would have married someone like me. Not because I'm not good enough―but because she wouldn't have even known I existed.]

[Desperate_Husband_NYC: I guess she wants a divorce because she's finally tired of living with someone who can't talk.]

The messages flooded in, one after another, each filled with a strange sort of... proud helplessness?

He wasn't putting himself down. He was objectively analyzing his "weaknesses," like he was preparing a SWOT report.

I frowned, completely stunned.

So what he was saying was: he poured money into saving her company in exchange for marriage, but they had zero communication and zero physical contact, leading to a cold relationship.

And the reason wasn't that he felt unworthy, but that he literally didn't know how to start a conversation?

Jesus Christ. This wasn't a marriage.

This was like having a high-IQ, low-EQ AI robot as a roommate!