Chapter 3 And suddenly, the world collapses...

I was flooded with a mixture of sensations, I let the tears run down my face and held out my right hand to him. "Yes, I do!" Murilo gently placed the ring on my finger and kissed it. He slowly stood up, dried my tears, gently pushed my bangs aside, and kissed me. We came back from our walk walking together, with wide smiles on our faces, and I couldn't stop looking at the ring on my finger. It was simple, but to me it meant a lot. It was almost dark by the time we got to our room, and we were almost late for dinner. While we were getting ready, laughing and making plans for the future, the phone rang. "Hello?" "Mom! Our day was amazing! I have some news! Mom...? Mom, what happened?" I lost my ground. The sobs exploded out of control, while I held the phone tightly against my chest. Even without understanding anything, Murilo hugged me, took the phone from my hand and resumed the call with my mother, listening silently to what had happened. "I will take care of her, Dona Amélia. I promise we won't go out on the road now. We'll be back in the morning." I could only cry, and there he was, my safe harbor, the love of my life, the one who took me out of a lonely life, hugging me tightly, doing everything he could to calm me down. "I want to leave, Murilo. I need to be there when my father wakes up." "Baby, rest. Your father wouldn't want us to risk the night on the road. Try to get some sleep, I'll order dinner in the bedroom, and a hot chocolate." "I won't be able to rest, much less sleep." "So we'll stay up together, watch a movie or go for a walk around the hotel, but I promised your mother that I'll take care of you and that we won't travel at night, and I'll keep my word, dear. The days that passed after we returned from our trip were painful. Seeing my father lying in a hospital bed after a car accident, incapable of any reaction or movement, destroyed me in a way I could never have imagined possible. But as bad as the situation was, Murilo was by my side, and this was comforting. He made every effort to help us in every way.

The months went by, my father didn't get better, Murilo helping my mother to put him in the sun, take him to the bath, and then back to his room? he was working hard to take care of his studies, work, and help my mother with these activities, while I was also studying, taking care of the house, and working to help with the expenses. Things were not easy and more and more I saw our tempers flaring. Our dreams and plans were postponed indefinitely, we no longer talked about marriage, but the fact was that Murilo was practically living with us, and we didn't know how we would manage without him. With each day that passed, our routine continued insane, and the difficulties grew. Before my eyes I saw my father wasting away... and my mother along with him, as strong as she tried to show herself, knowing that my father could leave us at any moment destroyed her inside. I could hear her footsteps in the early morning hours, when she got up to see if my father was breathing in the next bed, hear her whispered cries in the bath. I saw how difficult it was for her to feed herself, she ate very little, almost nothing, and lost weight. The love between them was everything to her. It was a rainy Saturday afternoon, the kind where the sun doesn't even shine. I needed strength to continue, to feel that everything was worthwhile. My mother had left with Murilo, after much insistence from us. She needed some time away from home, and I needed to be alone for a while with my father.

Seeing him in that bed and not even being able to hear his voice hurt more every day. But holding his warm hand, looking into his eyes, and cuddling up next to him made me feel safe, like a child running away to his parents' bed on a cold stormy night. I opened the bedroom door slowly, his eyes were fixed on the window, on the flashes of lightning that illuminated the room. I took a blanket and approached him. I sat down next to him and held his hand between mine. He turned his eyes to me, and tears began to stream down his face, making it impossible to hold back my own tears and not expose all my fragility. His gaze told me without words all that I needed to hear, but that now we could only feel. And then, I cuddled up next to him like a child, caressed his unshaven beard, kissed his now thin and tired face, and there we fell asleep holding hands.

I woke up some time later, and was not surprised to see that my father's eyes were once again fixed on the window. I sat up again and held his hands between mine. He looked tired, the sadness in his eyes was deep, and once again his face was wet with tears.

"Father..."

His eyes met my face, and he blinked as fast as he could, clearly trying to get rid of the tears that were blurring his vision.

"Dad, you need to rest..."

He blinked long and slowly, as if he agreed with me.

"Father..."

Again he blinked long and slowly, took the deepest breath and closed his eyes... his hands were heavy between mine... And in that moment I understood that we were saying goodbye. I would never see his eyes again.

"Father... Dad... Wake up, Dad! Father!"

The tears were pouring out, and made it even harder to find my cell phone and call 911, as much as I knew how much my father needed to rest, I simply found myself unable to accept it.

"Dad, hold on just a little longer."

I called for help and while waiting, I nestled back down next to him and could only cry. I cried for all the memories, I cried for all the things we didn't and wouldn't live.

With each resuscitation attempt that was made, hope filled my heart, but was quickly ripped from me without any mercy. The rescuers tried everything, and when the head of the team looked me straight in the eye and shook his head from side to side, I felt the ground open up beneath my feet and the world suddenly darkened.