Chapter 3

3.

“Okay. When I get back, I’ll go with you for the check-up, and then I’ll carve the best, most beautiful guardian sigil for our child with my own hands.”

My vision blurred. The pain of losing my child washed over me again.

“Okay.”

But my child would never get to wear it.

After he left, I got up and opened a drawer, pulling out the stack of medical reports I had carefully organized.

The lab results confirming the pregnancy.

The ultrasound photo from the first check-up.

The records for the medicine prescribed to sustain the pregnancy…

On every night that Kayden was away, I would take them out and look at them over and over.

They held all my excitement and anticipation of becoming a mother, my beautiful hopes for our family as a Luna.

But now…

I took the ‘Pregnancy Loss Confirmation’ report from my pocket and, with a trembling hand, placed it on top of the others.

Tears fell, soaking the paper, a silent funeral for what could have been.

Taking a deep breath, I was about to close the drawer when I heard Kayden’s voice from behind me.

“What are you looking at?”

I slammed the drawer shut in a panic, quickly wiping the tears from my eyes.

Kayden walked over, his gaze fixed on the drawer.

“Why are you back again?” I asked, leaning against the cabinet, trying to change the subject.

Kayden came closer and raised his hand.

He gently touched the corner of my eye.

“You were crying?”

He stared at the moisture on his fingertip, looking a little lost.

I forced a laugh and made up an excuse.

“You know how pregnant women are. Our emotions are all over the place. I’ll be fine in a minute.”

Kayden breathed a sigh of relief.

“Good. I forgot to ask, what style of guardian sigil do you like?”

“How about carving the Shadowmoon Pack’s crest with an ancient rune for ‘protection’? The Elders are pretty strict these days, so a simpler design is probably better.”

I was stunned for a moment. I never expected him to care so much about it.

If only he had cared this much about me before.

“Sure. You can decide.”

Kayden nodded, and having gotten his answer, he turned to leave.

But just before closing the door, he looked back one more time.

“Are you really okay?”

I opened my mouth, a faint flicker of hope rising in my heart.

“If I’m not, would you stay with me?”

Kayden paused, then laughed.

“Ava, don’t be ridiculous. Clara is waiting for me at the infirmary.”

“Get some sleep. I’m leaving now.”

The door clicked shut, and I finally broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.

I cried for my own blindness, for ever accepting Kayden as my mate.

And I cried for myself, for still holding onto hope for him, again and again.

I should have known how it would end, shouldn’t I?

That night, I packed all of my belongings.

The final ruling from the Elders hadn’t come through yet.

But I was completely and utterly exhausted.

Before I went to sleep, I emptied the jar of beans and left them to soak overnight.

The next morning, as I was eating the mashed, boiled beans, I received a message from Kayden.

He sent someone to tell me that the guardian sigil was ready.

He wanted me to pick it up at the infirmary.

When I got to the infirmary, I went straight to Clara’s room.

Kayden wasn’t there; he had probably gone to get lunch.

Clara smiled at me.

“Ava, what do you need from Kayden?”

I forced a smile back, my voice flat.

“I’m here to get the guardian sigil. Do you know where he put it?”

Clara let out a theatrical “Oh!” and revealed her foot from under the blanket.

Tied around her ankle was a leather cord, from which hung a delicate silver charm.

The Shadowmoon Pack crest, the rune for protection―it was exactly as Kayden had promised me.

“You mean this? Kayden gave it to me as an anklet. Isn’t it pretty?”

Clara’s smile was dripping with triumph, and in that moment, I nearly lost my mind.

My child was gone. My mate didn’t love me.

All I wanted was a single guardian sigil.

I just wanted… for the child who never had a chance to be born…

…to have his father’s blessing in the next world.

I don’t know how I left the infirmary.

All I know is that by the time I got home, I had cried my throat raw and couldn’t make a sound.

I took out a piece of paper and wrote down the things I still needed to do.

I hoped that after I was gone, Kayden would, for the sake of our past bond, help me finish them.

Once I was sure I hadn’t forgotten anything, I picked up my bags and left the pack’s territory.

A pack guard who had just finished his shift kindly offered to help with my luggage, but I refused.

From now on, this was a path…

I had to walk alone.

Meanwhile, Kayden returned with lunch and set it down.

“Clara, did Ava stop by while I was gone?”

Clara smiled and tucked her foot back under the covers.

“No, no one came by.”

Kayden nodded and opened the food container.

“Let’s eat. Did you keep that guardian sigil I gave you for safekeeping?”

“I’m going home this afternoon to give it to Ava.”

Clara hummed in agreement and took the food.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

A young nurse walked in and asked, “Which one of you is related to Ava Roberts? She forgot to pick up the herbal medicine for her recovery.”