Chapter 3

3.

The first day of the countdown, I went to the local administrative office to file the papers.

On my way back, I passed the big department store downtown.

Through the blurry glass window, I saw Sterling. He was shopping for clothes with Yara.

Yara had picked out a vibrant red cashmere sweater. Even from across the street, I could tell how expensive and beautiful it was.

I found myself walking closer, drawn to the sight like a moth to a flame.

As I neared the entrance, I could hear their conversation.

Yara was clinging to Sterling's arm, acting like a spoiled brat. "Sterling, since I'm getting discharged, can I have a new outfit to celebrate?"

Sterling looked at her with such tenderness it made my stomach turn. "Of course."

Yara hesitated, pouting. "But this one is so expensive. Maybe we shouldn't."

"It's only fifty dollars, Yara. If you like it, it's yours."

In an instant, my memory flashed back to two weeks ago.

I was so excited about the baby. I practically begged Sterling to come buy some things for the nursery.

In that very same store, Sterling had pointed at a five-dollar baby blanket and scoffed.

"That's too much. It's just for a kid. They don't need luxury items."

But now, facing a fifty-dollar sweater for Yara, he didn't even blink.

Maybe it was because my own coat was so old and thin.

The winter wind seemed to slice right through me. I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my head.

I realized then that as long as it was for Yara, the price never mattered.

I wandered the streets for hours, lost in thought, before finally heading home.

I was surprised to find Sterling waiting for me in the living room.

Seeing how pale I was, he hesitated for a moment. He actually walked over to me.

"Are you feeling okay? Look, the day after tomorrow, I'll take you to the supply store to get those baby things you wanted."

I looked at the calendar on the wall. Tomorrow's date had a little "Y" written on it in Sterling's handwriting.

Tomorrow was Yara's birthday.

I listened to his lie with a hollow heart. It was such a pathetic, transparent deception.

But I was too exhausted to call him out on it.

I just nodded slowly and said, "Okay."