Chapter 3 She said completely

better yet, a month to get your head straight, as the psychologist said. It was what I needed, but nothing has changed, I still feel the pain tearing me apart inside, nothing makes me forget, even if I try. “What did we talk about bringing girls home, Aaron?” — Hanry complains. — Would you rather I fuck them on the street? — I ask, already knowing your answer. He cares a lot about his appearance in society, so of course he prefers it to be here. — Listen here, Aaron! I know you're going through a difficult time, your mother's death affected you a lot... — He starts to retort. - No! You can't imagine how difficult it is! You weren't there, you didn't see her slowly wasting away! He was cowardly enough to leave her, to leave us, and never seek to know how we were doing. — I shout, cutting him off and analyzing his eyes. - It's not my fault! I had no idea your mother was like this. I will no longer accept your rebellions! You've been like this for over a month. I decided to give you some time, but I see that it didn't solve much. Tomorrow your first class starts, and you will stay with the other university students, in a room in the dorm. - Perfect! At least this way I won't have to deal with your damn presence all the time! — I close the door in his face. I grab the lamp that's on the bedside table and throw it against the wall, screaming. My relationship with Hanry was never the best. When he was younger, he and my mother separated, and he simply decided not to be a part of my life. She got pregnant at a very young age, and he didn't play his role as a man. After I turned thirteen, I wanted to return to my life, but I didn't allow it. It never helped us, we went through hell at home! My mother had an affair with Alfred, and he was always there at the house. We lived in a dirty trailer, and contrary to what Alfred showed at the beginning, he was not a good person. Especially when he was drunk. He led my mother to a life of drugs, and she, because she was suffering from the separation from the only love of her life, dove deeper into that world. I had stormy days, and every day I remember everything we went through and how my father never helped us, looked for us or asked if we needed anything. Which only made me hate him more, and continue to hate him every day. After she got into drugs, Alfred was a coward and left us. Something that caused me relief and despair, as we didn't have enough money to support ourselves. Despite everything, she never missed anything at home, but everything she picked up after her addiction was drugs. I managed to get a job in my spare time, when I didn't have classes, and managed to keep us going for years, until she started to get better and went to rehab. But Alfred came back to haunt us and she couldn't resist the temptation. However, this time, she had used more than before, which caused the overdose. They found her in the warehouse where only drug addicts go to get high. I go to art college. I had stopped at my previous university, because I was in mourning. I was in shock, I never thought this would be the end of her, after all the work she had to do to get treatment. I was really hoping that I was finally free from this whole nightmare. But apparently, I had been mistaken. I remember the first time I saw her using it. I tried to make her see how toxic her relationship with Alfred was, but she never listened. A person in a toxic relationship doesn't see it, but it's easy to see when you're on the outside. Five years ago — Mom? — I call, opening the trailer door. I left school early today and decided to surprise her by bringing her favorite burger from Burger Joint. I pass through the living room, finding it strange that everything is turned off and she is not sitting on the sofa watching her afternoon soap opera, the only light in the room is the daylight that reflects on the window. I call again, heading towards the simple American kitchen, I don't get an answer and I don't find it, so I leave the two hamburgers and the soft drinks on the table. The trailer contains two bedrooms, hers is on the left side, where there are three steps to get to the door, and mine is on the right side, close to the entrance door. After her and Hanry's separation, I missed her a lot. Her lack of paternity often frustrated me, but over time I got used to it and understood that it would just be me and her. Upon arriving in my room, I leave my backpack on the bed and go to hers, climbing the stairs, which are so old that they are creaky. Unfortunately, we cannot afford a better place. She is the only one working at the moment. So, we only have the essentials, and that's enough for me. As long as it's with her, I don't mind going to the end of the world. My heart accelerates quickly and I run to her, finding her lying down and pale, with a garter tied to her arm. Next to the bed, I find a syringe lying on the floor. I kneel down, holding her face, screaming her name, but she doesn't respond. I touch her pulse, but it's so weak I can barely feel it. I look at her arms and only now do I notice the large number of purple dots, which are located where her veins are. Could it be that...she's trying to kill herself? No! Why is she using this? I can not understand! She said it was fine, that the marks I sometimes saw were the stress of everyday life, and that it was nothing, so I wouldn't worry. However, now I understand that it is something more serious. She breathes slowly and I call her again. - Mommy! She answers me, please. —Aaron. Son, mom is fine, I just… — she reported calmly. I shake my head no, while holding her head. - You are not well! Ever since Alfred came into your life, you've been acting strange. Does he hurt you? — She gets to her feet with the greatest difficulty, looking at me reprimandingly. — Don't say what you don't know, Aaron! And don't you dare say that to anyone. That's none of your business. — She said completely agitated and irritated, walking to the bathroom when she arrived, she locked herself inside and vomited. - Mother! Mother! Let me help you, what should I do? — I ask, knocking on the door, while I hear her vomiting. —A-aron… just leave me. — Her words came out with difficulty. I decide to sit in front of the bathroom door and wait until he leaves, because I won't leave here until I know he's breathing and that he's okay. I feel afraid, for the first time, of being completely alone, since that's what