Chapter 1

I have five million followers. Three hundred and seventeen videos.

From the day I was born, I have lived every single moment in front of a lens.

Today is my eighteenth birthday.

Today, I turned the camera off.

It is not a pause. It is not a break from streaming.

I am deleting my life online forever.

1.

My mother's name is Eileen Mercer. On TikTok, she is @MommyEileen. She has over five million followers and is a top-tier creator in the parenting niche.

My handle is @PrincessClara. It is a sub-account in her media empire, dedicated entirely to filming my daily life. It has nearly four million followers.

Every video title ends with an exclamation mark. The top comment is always a pinned post from my mother's main account.

It always says: "Clara is growing up so fast! Mommy's tears are worthless today!"

She is right. Her tears are truly worthless.

My first video was filmed only thirty-six hours after I was born. My mother lay in the hospital bed, wearing a full face of makeup.

She held me and whispered to the camera: "Baby's first time meeting Mommy."

That video went viral, gaining eight hundred thousand likes. I watched it many times later.

She was holding me wrong. Her arm didn't support my neck at all.

Her eyes weren't on me. They were fixed on the lens.

Her bio on Instagram has five words: "A mother who loves life."

She loves life, alright.

But she loves the engagement, not the living.

She was twenty-six back then, fresh out of her job at a local news station to do social media full-time. In her business plan, I wasn't a daughter. I was content.