Chapter 3

3

I used to be so naive. I thought maybe she ignored me because we were always together.

Maybe if I vanished for a while, she'd miss me?

In Junior High, I begged to go to boarding school. Mom agreed immediately.

I went home once a week, and she still didn't see me.

Then I went home once a month, and nothing changed.

Just like now. Even though I'm standing right in front of her, she only has eyes for Archie.

It's as if he is her only purpose, her sky, her everything.

I want to stop following her, but I'm tethered.

I don't want to watch their happy family play-acting.

I'm bitter. I'm hurt. I want to leave.

The party finally ends, and the guests trickle out.

Archie sits in the living room tearing into his gifts.

I'm forced to sit there with Mom.

She turns to the maid and asks, "My phone was buzzing earlier, but I couldn't find it. Did you see it?"

The maid goes to the kitchen and brings it over.

"Archie brought it in. He said there were too many people and didn't want it stolen."

Mom looks at Archie, then dials the number back.

The call goes to voicemail.

Of course it does. I'm a corpse in a locker.

"Cassidy called. Why isn't she picking up now? Whatever. Archie, honey, it's bedtime. You have your equestrian test tomorrow. Get some rest so you can get that A+."

That's my mother. My desperate calls weren't as important as a hobby horse lesson.

I remember when I was thirteen.

Archie was three then, the age where he was most adorable.

I was living at school, unable to sleep, filled with anxiety and tears.

I couldn't focus in class. My grades started to slip.

The teacher called my mom. She didn't ask me what was wrong. She just slapped me.

"I spend so much money on this school, and you're wasting it? Do you know your tuition is fifty thousand a semester? Arthur pays for that! I owe him for this! You need to study until you break, or you'll embarrass me!"

I kept my head down, listening to her scream. I was almost happy.

At least she was looking at me. At least she was here.

I learned what she wanted. She wanted a trophy daughter.

From that day on, I became a machine. I was first in every class.

But she never visited again.

Did I have to become a villain just to get your attention, Mom?

By the end of Junior High, my insomnia was a monster.

My grades tanked again. The teacher called for a parent, but Mom didn't show.

She just called me. "If you don't want to learn, then fine. After this semester, go live with your father. I won't have a useless daughter like you."

Panic seized me. I was terrified.

My biological father is a demon who changes whenever he drinks.

She knew what he was, and yet she wanted to throw me to him.

My heart broke that day. It was the deepest pain I'd ever felt.

I thought about ending it. I held a blade to my wrist but hesitated.

I wasn't ready to give up on life yet.

I pushed myself through the final exams and got into the best high school in the city.

That summer, Mom took me shopping for clothes. I was so happy.

She bought ten times more for Archie, but I didn't care. I finally had her time.

Then High School started. It was also Archie's first day of elementary school.

Without hesitation, she chose to take him and let me go alone.