Chapter 3

Camille Making a living in New York can be a lot, trust me. But here in Seattle it's a fucking hassle. One night in and it seems all has started crumbling even before it got the chance to begin. When Phillip got back from the grocery store, after my sister decided to tag along so she could see the city, because 'it's been damn long' in her words. He got back to make a few calls for a job vacancy and it turned out there were some openings for me. Honestly he wanted me to try them all, damn I wanted to try this all but there was this anxiety I just couldn't fight off. Although I still held on to the interview my sister had recommended to me, I tried to stay active during all his talk about how good they were and how I was going to crush them, but I could help but be passive. The voices in my head were louder than his words. I retired for the night and I checked my schedule for the next day but it turned out that I will have to miss one interview because it clashed with another vital one. I want a job but I have to let something go. The next day the interviews were not precisely short. But the questions were nothing much because my resumé spoke for itself. The interview from the investment company was indeed the last one I had for the day and all they did was check out my resume and a few questions about my experience and I explained the time I interned as a financial assistant in a publishing house in New York. Working there was kind of awesome until I stopped because I had to take care of Mom who was recently diagnosed with leukemia. At the climax of that day's interview they promised to get back to me. Somehow I held them by their word, I had a good feeling about it. I got back home deeply exhausted that I slept through the night and didn't have dinner. My sleep was a bit deep, but I found myself in a trance that traced back to New York, the happy moments, in fact every moment. Judy's whinings, mom's laughter and a wide smile coming from Dad. I wasn't aware of my environment, for a moment it all felt real, like the softness of the bed that brushed my skin and the untamed chill air that blanketed me till I had goosebumps. All I could feel was the smell of pancakes, the slight rush of red wine on a fine glass, the clattering of plates and spoon. I saw it all but when I tried to grasp this memory, it faded. My eyes shot open and I was greeted by a familiar place—my bedroom— I sighed. Sleep immediately left my eyes but I stood up and made my way to the refrigerator downstairs. I moved quietly in the dark only to find myself ravaging the inside of the refrigerator for cookies or milk or anything. My eyes met the bar at the corner of the house. The bottles glistened before my eyes and I gulped. Well, a little wouldn't hurt right. I told myself. I took a large bottle of vodka and a glass. I poured a little into the glass and took a sip. I let it heat my tongue for a while before I swallowed. "I didn't know you take alcohol." a gruff voice echoed from the other end of the room startling the hell out of me. "Jesus Christ!" I exclaimed as I saw his figure leaning by the wall, finding his hands. This was the first time I saw Phillip without his glasses, he looked less nerdy. He was wearing a lilac blue shirt that hugged his biceps and black shorts. I gulped the little vodka left in my glass. "I'm sorry for frightening you." he apologised, his brown eyes held the feeling of sorry. "It's okay." He walked closer with an empty glass as he grabbed the bottle and poured himself a lot. He must be really feeling heated tonight that he needed all that to drink. "I didn't know you take alcohol too." "I do not as often though." "So what's keeping you up?" I could ask the same question but how do I explain that I just had the best dream that I didn't want to wake up from, I wanted to sink into that world that's now a memory and never return to this that's filled with pain, absence and loss. Maybe I found the words to what I wanted to say but it didn't really do justice to how it felt. "Nothing much, just tired. I couldn't go back to sleep. So here I am." "Here you are." he repeated and took a large gulp of his drink only to pour another glass for himself again. "You need to take it easy there Phillip." I said to him pointing at his glass. Something must be really bothering him to want to drink the whole bottle. I honestly didn't want to be there to witness him drink till he was satisfied, now the question is if he was going to be satisfied. "You are talking about this", he said, holding his glass up. I nodded. "Oh this is nothing. I need to think and alcohol helps me with that." "How come you are doing this at this time? When your fiancé is upstairs sleeping. You should be with her." I gently scolded him, but it felt to me that I was prying, which I didn't intend to do for long. "I had to work so I needed something strong. My job can be a bit demanding so it takes a toll. So tell me how was your interview?" he sat on the stool by the counter I was expecting him to ask me, because he had always followed my progress about my job hunting since I arrived here. Since I was too tired to stay awake and give feedback I might as well do it now. "It was awesome. The interviews were clashing. I only had time to attend two of the openings. Hoping the two I missed, they rescheduled. But that's very unlikely." "Not really. Since you told them, they will fix another interview. Working in Seattle can be hectic when you've started, but they always try to be flexible."he explained. Maybe I just needed some getting used to because this change was like the sea and I was just still finding my balance through the waves and storms. "I hope so." "You'd get used to it. The chaos must be new to you. I'm wondering though how was growing up in New York City like for you?" I stopped laying face down on the counter as I tried to remember. It seemed all that had been happening there were memories and I was treading through the memory lane. I smiled and sighed. "It was awesome. I'm used to the chaos; it was what kept me going. And moving from one neighbourhood to another was the only thing as hectic as hell." "You sound like someone that hates change.'' That wasn't a question but he plunged further into the conversation. I began to feel comfortable with the thought of talking about a vital part of my life I still hadn't processed. "I do hate it. It's a constant thing for humans, living but it doesn't change the fact that it's scary as hell. I mean it's like starting all over, throwing all that has ever been like it didn't exist. But then that's like a new path to try other things right?" I rambled. "The truth is that humans would always need change, it's what keeps them going that makes them look forward to the different phases of their lives and make better choices. Yet, it doesn't have to be scary and you know it's hard at first. As lame as that sounds, that's how I feel." He smirked as I spoke. "You are right Camille." he said. "Sometimes that's all we need, all we will ever need. It's just a matter of if you want to be stuck or move forward. And I bet on my guts that you really don't want to be stuck." "What about you?" I asked. "Oh nothing much. I went to NYU just like Judy. My parents have always been there you know, I watched them struggle through it all, marriage, wealth and all. My brother and I are all they have, you know even when we were very comfortable. Then my Mom died in a plane crash and it broke my Dad more. But he found other ways to be happy. I started working for this tech company back at NYU, made a lot of money until I decided to move here to Seattle. It was through my journey back to New York I met Your sister in a coffee shop." "Holl up." I smiled. "Judy in a coffee shop?" She's the last person that would want to get coffee on a very good day, that's why this was so surprising. He laughed out loud. "She was with a couple of friends. I think they were waiting for a class then. So I asked her for a date. And she wanted to go to the movies, the rest is history." he concluded as he took a break from drinking. I was already feeling light headed and sleepy. "That's lovely." I remarked. Our conversations bled into the night as we had so little time before the day started as we retired for the night. I really felt better talking to him and it was a huge relief knowing that he cared so much about Judy. I had no doubt about their companionship. Morning came just as fast and I wasn't going anywhere so I decided to sleep in. Considering I had gotten so little sleep last night. Judy came in to ask about the interview and I explained in detail because she asked about the job offer she recommended for me. She was indeed happy that I did all that, now we just had to wait for the news, whether it's good or bad. I'm not trying to sound like a negative person but I don't want to expect too much. It's through that disappointment comes. My ringtone came blaring in and as the caller ID was unknown, I was curious, so I answered. "Hello." "Please am I speaking to Camille Allister." "Yes, who am I speaking with?" 'This is from the investment company you sent your application to. I understand that you came in for an interview yesterday." he inquired. "Yes I did." "Oh we are calling to inform you that you got the job. You may want to come in on Friday next week, so you will be briefed and resume immediately." Wow. I didn't expect this news so early. My heart leaped in joy. "Miss Camille?" his voice came in from the other end snapping me out from the blanks. "Yes, I accept." I said quickly "Thank you so much." "Alright that's fine, we look forward to seeing you soon. " the call ended. Now, I felt like my life would be in order soon.