Chapter 3 Choosing to leave

“Farah is right, Mi. I shouldn't be here anymore.” The middle-aged woman who was accompanying Namira in her room let out a resigned breath. She looked pityingly at her daughter-in-law because she didn't know what else to do. “Farah didn't mean to kick us out, Nam. She just does that when she's upset. Abi and Ummi don't mind if you still want to stay here. Besides, didn't the late Amir say that you wanted to study religion again? This boardingschool is the place.” Namira shook her head quickly. “Things have changed, Mom. I'm a widow now. I can't bear to hear all the gossip out there. Even my behavior sometimes embarrasses Ummi and the rest of the family. I ... just say goodbye.” “At this time of night?” “Medan to Binjai is close, Mom. I can take the bus from Kualanamu Airport that goes that way,” Namira replied straightforwardly. “Okay. But at least .... if you still want to go home, it's better tomorrow. Don't you want to make a pilgrimage to Amir's grave first?” Namira finally relented. She agreed with her father-in-law's suggestion. Now her eyes were busy sweeping across the room. Paying attention to the furniture and all kinds of memories that had been with her alone for the past three months. The 30-year-old woman smiled sadly at the figurine she had just gotten a few weeks ago. There was a smiling face of her and her late husband there. Unfortunately, everything is just a memory. They had never even slept together in that room. *** “It's good, sis. I've only been married to Mas Amir for a short time and I already got an inheritance,” Farah sneered. The young girl smacked her lips as she saw Namira holding a small book from her mother. “Don't talk nonsense.” “You still defends Namira, Mom,” Farah grumbled. Namira, who was tired of being cornered, said, “If I could choose, I would never want to be in this position, Rah. People can only watch without knowing what I feel.” Not wanting to argue any longer, Namira immediately dragged her suitcase. Get into the car that her father-in-law had prepared. “It's not good like this, Nam. Will you wait for Abi to finish teaching?” “No, Mi. I'll be alone. It's okay,” Namira refused quietly. “I was told that,” Farah chided. “He finally caught his stripes. It was his turn in front of Mas Amir to be so sweet. Now Ummi can see for herself that he is a rebel.” “That's enough, Farah. You'd better accompany Namira to Mas Amir's grave.” “He's not my brother anymore!” In the end, Namira went to the grave accompanied by her mother-in-law. Here she was now. Staring at the heirloom bearing the name 'Muhammad Amir Husein' with a forced smile. Trying her best to hold back the tears that were about to run down her cheeks. 'Sister, don't be sad.' The words she heard in her dream rang again in her ears. Namira recited a prayer as well as silently said goodbye to the heirloom that clearly could not make a sound. After that, she got up and stepped quickly out of the cemetery fence. However, her steps stopped when longing returned. Namira quickly turned around with tears already streaming down her face. 'I can't be here anymore, Baby. I'll take my leave.' Along the way to her mother's house, Namira continued to daydream. Even when the driver and the two female students turned around, she was still busy in her head. “Sis, we've arrived. Your mother's house is here, right?” said one of the students next to her. “I-yes.” A suitcase and two tote bags were in sight. Now the delivery car quickly disappeared. Namira walked slowly towards the house with the brown fence where her only home was. Greetings had been said three times. However, there was no response from the residents of the house. Even phone calls went unanswered. “Nam? When are you coming back?” greeted a girl who happened to pass in front of the house. Namira quickly smiled. “Lia? Just now. How come there's no one home?” “Your mother and father went home. It's been almost a month.” The woman walked closer until they were only a few feet apart. “Don't you know? Your mother and father's business has been slow. That's why they chose to migrate to your father's village. That's what I heard. What ... didn't they say?” Before Namira could respond, a woman about the same age as her mother walked hurriedly towards them. Then pulled the girl named Lia's arm forcefully. “You're getting married next week. Don't wander around! Especially near Namira,” the mother said in a stern tone. “Do you want to be a widow like her? Three failed marriages, huh?” The half-whispered voice was still ringing in Namira's eardrums. It was deliberately sarcastic. “What the hell? Poor Namira.” “That's it. Let's just go home,” broke off the mother who then gave Namira a fierce look. “Eh, Nam. You better leave your mother and father alone. It's a pity that they're being gossiped about. Their only child is a widow. Because of you, their business went bankrupt.” “No, Nam. Don't listen to my mama!” said Lia, shaking her head. “It must be because of Bang Putra's incitement. He's now a meat supplier to the markets. That's why he took the opportunity to ruin your father's business.” Namira could not hear anymore after that. The woman named Lia had been forcibly pulled away by her mother. She tried hard to stay strong. In the end, it ended up like this. The promise to restore a good name to both parents was dashed. Namira's heart ached after hearing the news. Now she could only stare at the calf-high grass growing wild in the yard. Until fifteen minutes later her cell phone rang. “Assalamu'alaikum.” Shortly afterward the greeting was answered by the person on the other side. ["Why? I was helping your father at the market. We're already home."] Namira covered her mouth tightly with one palm. Putting the phone away from her ear because she knew that her mother was lying. [“You're okay, right?”] “I-yeah, mom. I'm with my mother in law,” she also lied. “Mom and Dad are healthy, right?” ["Alhamdulillah. Sorry, son. We haven't had a chance to see you there. We've been busy."] “Yes, Mom. Hmmm, that's it.” Oh my God. So her parents have been suffering all this time?