Chapter 2

2

On the first day of the SATs, I lost my daughter, Macy Miller.

Her body became cold and stiff. I held her until my tears ran dry, then I quietly handled the arrangements alone.

It was late at night when I finally returned home. I held the small urn containing her ashes and began packing her things.

Here was the onesie she wore at one year old. Here was her first photo at five. Here were her practice scores―top ten in the state.

Anything I couldn't take abroad, I had to destroy. I wasn't going to leave Caleb a single memory of her.

I still couldn't understand how my eighteen-year-old girl, just beginning to bloom, had turned into a handful of white ash.

This morning, she told me she'd get into a top university. She said she'd get us out of here and we'd never come back.

She even said she wanted to change her name. She hated the name Macy because it sounded like a name Caleb's mother chose to "summon a brother."

She wanted to be Maverick. She wanted to show the world that a girl could be independent and strong.

But she never got that chance.

My tears fell onto the urn. I rushed to wipe them off, but they kept coming. I went to the living room for a tissue, and that's when Caleb walked in.

He saw my pale face and swollen eyes and immediately looked annoyed.

"Don't you know Macy has more tests tomorrow? What did you tell her? Are you whining about me dropping you off? It's useless to complain to her."

I stood in the center of the room. The harsh overhead light made my soul feel hollow.

It didn't matter what I told Macy anymore. She was in a box. She couldn't hear a thing.

I shook my head. For the first time, I didn't argue. "I know. It won't happen again."

Caleb paused while taking off his shoes. He looked surprised. He had a whole lecture prepared, but my lack of reaction stopped him.

I grabbed a tissue and turned to head back into Macy's room to pack.

"Can't you let her sleep? Why are you moping around her room with that face?"

He sighed. "Macy might be smart, but she's still a girl. I'll go in with you. We need to show her we're fine so she doesn't overthink things."

I stopped and looked back at him.

Inside that room was nothing but an urn. I clenched my fists and nodded.

"Fine. Come see her with me."

Caleb gave me a weird look, probably thinking I was losing my mind. He warned me before stepping toward the door.

"Watch your tone. Don't worry her. We can talk about whatever is bothering you after the exams."

Caleb's parents were incredibly sexist. They fought for the name Macy specifically because it was a tradition meant to bring a son next.

Caleb had always been cold toward her. He only showed her a good face recently because her high scores made him look good to his friends.

I watched his hand reach for the doorknob. I waited for the moment he would see the ashes.

But of course, his phone rang.

He stopped. He saw Sutton's name on the screen. "It's work. Tell Macy to go to bed. Tell her her father came to see her."

He turned around and walked away to answer it.

I couldn't hear what Sutton said, but after a few seconds, he headed for the front door.

He looked back at me. "Macy's scores are great. She'll get into a top school. Stop worrying. After her finals, I'll take you both on a trip abroad."

Then he was gone.

I stood at the half-open door. I could see the urn sitting on her favorite pink bedsheets.

He was one step away from seeing the truth.

I wiped my eyes and let out a bitter, silent laugh.

Whatever. It wasn't like he actually cared.