Chapter 2 Party

🤍🖤🤍 Natalie 🤍🖤🤍 As I see West and Riley walk together into the class, a dread rises inside me. Did he pick her up from home today? Is he talking to her every night? If out of all the people in the world, he has chosen her over me, then I am sincerely screwed. A few nights ago, her phone was busy when I tried to call her. But that could be a fluke. It has to be. We were supposed to tell others about us after the summer break. He wouldn’t do that to me. Tears prickle my eyes as Riley and West come and sit next to me. I try to calm myself. I know I am probably overthinking. He is right. I just need to give him space. I am probably suffocating him. Maybe things are difficult at home again. He goes into a strange mood for weeks sometimes. It’s just that. I am sure. I have to talk to him. I manage to keep my tears at bay and we exchange pleasantries. “Are you coming to the party on Friday, Riley?” She nods. Then he asks me, “What about you, Nat?” I stare at his face as he talks so casually to me. Has he forgotten our argument? He doesn’t forget. It’s me who has to take a step to patch things up. Always. He would have answered my call and texts in the morning if he had forgiven me. There is nothing to forgive, though. Still, I need to subdue. I want to tell him NO. I won’t go with you anywhere unless we fucking communicate. Only because he is having a hard time doesn’t mean he has any right to give me hell, too. I want to show him I can live without him. But I wish I could believe it myself. “Yes, she is,” Riley answers instead. “Don’t you dare make excuses this time Nat,” She grabs my arm and tells me. “I will pick you up. You ain’t yourself lately.” She noticed. Doesn’t he see how miserable he is making me? ……. I stare at myself in the mirror after getting ready for the Party. I take a pic and send it to Riley. I am not as beautiful as her. I need more effort to look better, but still, I am pleased with myself tonight. Riley often approves of my clothes. I have zero sense of clothing. It didn’t matter to me before. But now I am getting more and more antsy about my looks. West isn’t exactly kind with his words. He claims to be straightforward, but he doesn’t realize he comes off rude sometimes. He doesn’t notice how his words cut deep. But I guess it happens when you have a shitty family. Last week wasn’t any different. West has been talking to me at school. But it’s superficial. As if ‘us’ before summer break didn’t exist. He called me last night after missing all my calls on previous nights. Took me all my strength to not answer his call. Because I am planning to talk to him tonight. Face to face. We need to make things official if he wants to keep this thing between us. I cannot take this secret bullshit anymore. Riley: ‘You look awesome. My efforts are paying off :) I’ve a better idea about ur hair. I will redo it’ Me: ‘literally blushing…’ Riley: ‘We will reach ur place in five.’ We? Is she coming with West? I look at myself in the mirror again. A wave of mixed emotions hit me. I should have picked his call last night. But he ignored me for weeks. Isn’t it fair for me to ignore him for once? I take a deep breath to calm myself. West’s car pulls over in our driveway and mom sends them upstairs. Riley squeals as she sees me and hugs me tight. “You look wayyy better than the pic.” She gives me a pointed look. It’s her way of saying ‘Your selfie skills are shit.’ “Not better than you!” I roll my eyes. No one in our whole class looks as fabulous as her. She looks gorgeous without any effort. God save us when she puts in an effort. “She gave you a compliment. Just fucking take it, Nat!” West comes next to me and gives me a side hug, smiling and kisses my temple. Just like that, it melts my heart. It’s a platonic thing we often do. But still, It makes me feel better. I have been yearning for his affection. Once Riley is done with my hair, she goes to use the washroom. West stands next to me, looking at my reflection in the mirror. “You look good tonight. You should do it often,” He says, rubbing my back. I turn my head to see if he is being honest. He leans in for a kiss, but I turn my face to let it fall on my cheek. “I need to talk to you,” I mumble. He sighs. “Yes. It’s due. Let’s talk after the party.” He gives me a tight smile, moving away from me. I nod. Riley comes out, and we head out for the party. Riley is super excited. Her energy is infectious tonight. It’s difficult to stay somber around her. Past week she tried her best to cheer me up. “It’s been really long since we three hung out together,” Riley says as we sit in the car. She is right. We used to have so much fun together before the summer break. Long drives. Random picnics and whatnot. “Let’s make the most of tonight,” I say, smiling. “Norris gonna drool all over you?” Riley smirks, wiggling her eyebrows. “Oh, please!” I scoff. “What is wrong with him? He is cute.” Nothing is wrong. I am just not available. I glance at West. “Seriously, give him a chance, Nat,” West says. I try to hide the surprise on my face and look at him sharply, trying to figure out if he is the same guy who was rubbing my back, leaning in for a kiss barely five minutes ago. I take a deep breath and try to ignore the constant dread hovering over me for the past few weeks. I tell myself he is teasing me in front of Riley. That’s all it is. Then I turn on the music and look out of the window. I need to be calm. I will enjoy myself tonight. After the party, we will talk anyway.