Chapter 3

3

I first noticed something was off when he came back from delivering some test papers to Sarah’s class. His ears were flushed, and he sat at his desk, staring at a blank page for four straight study periods. On his scrap paper, covered in calculations, three words stood out �C Sarah Miller. He’d scribbled them out repeatedly, but the ink bled through.

Later, I heard what happened. Sarah had accidentally bumped into him, briefly hugging him as she messed around with her friends. Josh, momentarily stunned, had just muttered, "Be careful." Sarah had just smiled. "Sorry, Mr. Smarty-Pants. Oh, and… you’re cute!" The class erupted in teasing laughter. Josh, normally so composed and reserved, was flustered.

Josh and I were similar �C rational, level-headed, calm as still water. Sarah was emotional, vibrant, a fizzy tablet dropped into that placid water. A beautiful, fizzy tablet. It was no surprise he was drawn to her. Like in all the rom-coms and novels, opposites attract. The popular kid and the nerd, the jock and the bookworm, the ice queen and the sunshine girl…

I thought even if Josh was smitten, he’d still know what truly mattered. But he proved me wrong. For Sarah, the always-logical Josh rebelled.

I wasn’t privy to the details of how their relationship developed. I was too busy with my own studies to pay much attention to their increasingly frequent interactions. The most I talked to Josh about was homework, test answers, or how prepared we were for the next exam.

By the time I realized how close they’d become, Sarah was already comfortably calling him “nerd” and “brainiac,” and Josh’s reactions showed he was used to it. I started noticing he’d disappear for half an hour every lunchtime �C to help Sarah with her homework. Every Saturday morning, he’d suddenly have “plans” �C attending little get-togethers Sarah organized.

I knew he was falling for her.

But that didn’t stop me from focusing on my own goals. I kept my head down and studied. Until the National Physics Competition in our junior year. The school held rigorous tryouts to select one student to represent us. Josh didn’t show up for the final round. Sarah had fainted and been rushed to the hospital. After taking her there, he stayed with her at her request, missing the entire afternoon.

I don’t know how to describe how I felt. I remember running to the hospital, finding him in the hallway, his expression blank. All my complex emotions poured out in a single, confused question: “Josh?”

He leaned against the wall, his voice flat. “I’ve played by the rules my whole life. I deserve to rebel once, don’t I?”

He’d given up months of preparation, forgotten all those nights he’d spent studying while sick. Looking at him, this smart, gentle boy, I felt a pang of something like… grief. I didn't say anything.