Chapter 2

2.

Yasmin and I got together during a club event in our sophomore year of college.

After a brief encounter, she started pursuing me aggressively.

She would wait outside my dorm every single morning to bring me breakfast. She would appear by my side whenever I felt down or lost.

She even started learning about sports just to have something to talk to me about.

In our junior year, she excitedly told me she was going to help me meet my favorite athlete.

She pulled every string possible to get me a ticket to a sold-out game.

She even used her family's connections to get me an autographed jersey.

She remembered every word I said. She once woke up at five in the morning just to drive across town to buy specific pastries I liked.

Even though I rejected her over and over, she never stopped giving.

She kept saying, "It's okay, Finn. Loving you is my business. Being good to you is my choice. Don't feel pressured."

I remember when I caught a bad flu in our junior year and had to be hospitalized. Everyone was afraid of catching it and stayed away.

The hospital room felt so cold and lonely.

But she was there. She wore a mask and stayed by my side day and night, checking my temperature and feeding me medicine.

I told her to leave because I was afraid she'd get sick.

She cried as she held my hand. "I'm not going anywhere. You're at your weakest right now. I want to be here."

I don't remember exactly how I felt back then, but I remember her palm felt so warm.

I wanted to hold that hand for the rest of my life.

Because of that, I completely ignored the warnings from my friends. They told me Yasmin might just be playing with me.

They told me she had a first love that she was obsessed with.

I forced myself to forget those prejudices. I dove into the relationship with no regrets.

To everyone's surprise, she was wonderful to me.

We dated for three years and were married for three. In all that time, we never had a single screaming match.

Whenever there was a conflict, she would communicate with me immediately. We faced and solved everything together.

But it was exactly that perfect state that should have tipped me off.

Until one day, I found the source of it all in the notes on her laptop.

【Cillian, he looks so much like you, especially when he smiles.】

【I'm so sad. Why isn't it you by my side instead of this poor imitation?】

【Cillian, I miss you so much.】

...

It turns out our lack of fighting wasn't because of peace. It was because the love she gave me was fake.

She pursued me because I looked like him.

She didn't want me to be sad because my smile reminded her of him.

I stubbornly refused to believe it was all a lie. I convinced myself she still had real feelings for me.

I tested her again and again, only to trip over my own heart every time.

She answered my desperate love with boredom, excuses, and vague words. Yet I stayed submerged in it, refusing to save myself.

Finally, the man she actually wanted came back. She sprinted toward him without looking back. She didn't even bother making excuses anymore.

And the question I always wanted to ask finally had an answer.