Chapter 3

3

Tears hit the frosting, blurring the edges of the number. I was still holding onto hope like a fool.

I told myself he was just busy. I told myself he'd come home with flowers and an apology.

But the truth was he was with her. I stared at the cake, skipped the candles, and cut a slice for myself.

It was bitter. Even with all that extra sugar, it tasted like ash in my mouth.

Xavier didn't get home until late. I was already in bed, pretending to be asleep.

He showered and climbed in next to me, pulling me into his chest. His chin rested on my forehead.

I smelled the sharp scent of whiskey and a floral perfume. No amount of soap could wash away the evidence of where he'd been.

In the dark, I whispered, "Xavier, do you still love me?"

What I really wanted to ask was if he had ever loved me at all. He stiffened against me, his heart thudding under my ear.

"Why are you asking that all of a sudden?" his voice was raspy.

I was tired of the theater. I was tired of being the lead actress in a play I hated.

"Today is our five-year anniversary," I said.

He let go of me instantly. He clicked on the bedside lamp and grabbed my hand, his face a mask of guilt.

"I'm so sorry, Shara. Work has been hell. I completely lost track of the date. Let me make it up to you tomorrow, please?"

He was a phenomenal actor. He could spend the day with another woman and then play the doting husband at night without missing a beat.

"Don't bother," I said, pulling my hand away.

The next day, he didn't make up for the anniversary. He was out the door before I even woke up.

I called him three times. On the fourth try, he finally picked up.

I looked out the window at the gray, overcast sky. "Xavier, we're supposed to visit Nana today."

The background noise on his end was chaotic. It sounded like he was outside, maybe at a park.

"Shara, go ahead without me. Tell Nana I'm stuck at the office. I'll make it up to her when things quiet down."

He was always so busy. I used to think it was just for work, but now I realized he was only busy when it came to me and his family.

I didn't ask what he was doing. I just hung up and went to the hospital.

Nana was the only person who treated me like I truly belonged. My love for her was real, regardless of what Xavier was doing.

She handed me a slice of apple she had painstakingly cut. "The first piece is for my favorite girl."

I took the apple and forced a smile. Nana laughed, but then her face soured.

"What is that boy doing? He can't even find an hour to see his old grandmother? Making you come here all by yourself."

I didn't defend him. I just chewed my apple in silence.

When I left the hospital, I felt suffocated. I decided to walk for a bit to clear my head.

I hadn't gone two blocks when I saw them. I recognized their silhouettes instantly.

Xavier and Lyla. They were walking through the park, bathed in the golden hour light.

She was playful, hopping around and tapping his shoulder. He was looking at her like she was the center of the universe.

I stood there like a ghost, a stranger watching a happy couple. I was just background noise in their love story.

A few days later, Lyla showed up at my house. Our marital home.

I wasn't even surprised. We were both waiting for someone to break first.

Lyla had lost.