Chapter 3

3

The sound of the old wooden door interrupted my painful memories.

Jackson pushed the door open cautiously. He hesitated. "Annie, thank you."

I was surprised. This was the first time Jackson had ever spoken to me so kindly.

I gave him a faint smile and pushed him back out.

That night, Lillian came to my room. She wanted to take my sneakers.

They were my only pair of good shoes. I only wore them for gym class and took great care of them.

"Annie, I'm going to the village soon. I need some decent shoes, don't I?"

Jackson walked in behind her. "Annie, just give the shoes to Lillian. She is your sister."

Hearing those words made my heart tighten.

In my last life, the phrase he said most was: "Just give it to her, she is your sister."

When food was scarce, my daughter and I went hungry to save coupons for him.

Jackson would take those coupons and trade them for a few cents just to buy Lillian a treat.

I pulled the white sneakers on my feet immediately. "No."

Jackson frowned. "Why are you being so selfish?"

I sneered. "Selfish? I gave her my spot in the program. I am the opposite of selfish."

Jackson knew I was right. He couldn't argue, so he just looked away.

Lillian saw this and started her act. "Jackson, don't be mad. It is just a pair of shoes. I don't need them."

"I've never had nice things anyway. I'll just wear my old canvas ones."

She looked like she was about to cry.

Jackson grabbed her hand and led her out. He growled at me. "Come on, Lillian. I'll buy you new ones. We don't want her old junk anyway!"

I calmly shut the door.

The next morning, Jackson knocked again. I opened it and asked, "What now?"

He held up a shoe box, looking smug. "See? I bought Lillian brand new ones. They are much better than yours."

"Oh."

Jackson seemed shocked by my lack of reaction.

In my last life, I would get jealous whenever he was nice to her. We would have huge fights.

He looked at me with some uncertainty. "You seem different."

"Was I too harsh yesterday? Are you still mad? I didn't mean to, I just..."

I interrupted him impatiently. "It is fine."

"You know Lillian grew up without parents. I can't stand to see her feel left out."

I frowned. "I said, I don't care."

Jackson looked like he wanted to say more. There was a look in his eyes I couldn't quite read.

When they boarded the truck to the village, I watched them from a distance.

Jackson took off his coat to pad the seat for Lillian. He was so attentive.

I watched until the truck disappeared into a cloud of dust.

Finally, I felt like I could breathe. I pulled a train ticket for the south out of my pocket.

It was wonderful. In this life, I wouldn't waste time chasing his love or rotting in domestic misery.

This time, I was going to live for myself.