Chapter 3

3.

The next day, I was driving Leo to school.

He was looking at a billboard out the window when he suddenly asked, “Mommy, what does ‘married’ mean?”

My hands tightened on the steering wheel. I answered without looking at him, “Marriage is when you build a family with someone you love.”

“Then why did Daddy marry you if he doesn’t love you?”

The car screeched to a halt on the side of the road.

I sat there frozen, my face pale, unable to say a word.

He was right. Why did he marry me if he didn’t love me?

When we were first introduced, I fell for him instantly, but he had made it clear that we weren't a good match.

It was me. I chased him like a fool, using every trick in the book until he finally agreed.

My past self naively believed my persistence had won him over.

Only now did I understand: a cold stone will always be cold, even if you build it into the wall of your house.

After a long moment, I turned to my son. “Leo, if Dad and I get a divorce, who would you want to live with?”

Leo didn’t even hesitate. “Dad, of course.”

His innocent voice was like a poisoned dart, striking me deep inside.

The child I had carried for nine months and lovingly raised for five years felt no attachment to me at all.

I turned back to the road, letting the cold wind from the open window dry my eyes, and started the car again.

“Okay. I heard you.”

…

On Friday afternoon, I was getting ready to take Leo to my parents’ place for the weekend.

But Leo was defiant. “I don’t want to go to Grandpa and Grandma’s! It’s so boring there! Can I stay at Chloe’s house instead?”

A deep sense of weariness washed over me. I looked at him steadily. “Are you sure?”

Leo nodded emphatically. “Of course!”

“Fine.”

I drove Leo to Chloe’s house and called Alex on the way.

The moment he heard, his voice turned grave. “Are you insane? He’s just a kid, why are you dumping him on Chloe again? You’re just creating trouble for her!”

Chloe, Chloe. It was always about Chloe.

I gripped the phone, my voice hoarse. “Leo himself insisted on going. What was I supposed to do?”

Alex sneered. “I think you just wanted the easy way out.”

He was barely ever home. For years, I had raised our son alone. I didn’t know how he could say something like that with a straight face.

The rebuttal died on my lips. I swallowed it back down.

“Whatever. I’ve already dropped him off. If you get off work early, remember to pick him up.”

I hung up, then drove for an hour to my parents’ house in the suburbs.

When they saw me arrive alone, they were both stunned. “Honey, why are you by yourself? Where’s Leo?”

I clutched my handbag, finally speaking the words aloud. “Dad, Mom, I’m going to divorce Alex. Leo… will stay with him.”

I paused, then delivered the final piece of news. “And in twenty days, I’m moving to Houston with my project team.”

After I said it all, I lowered my head, bracing for the lecture I expected.

Instead, I felt my mother’s warm embrace. “Oh, sweetie. You must have been through so much all these years.”

My father sighed heavily beside her. “We’ve seen how he treats you. Divorce him! Dad supports you. As long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”

My parents’ understanding and support shattered the wall I had built around myself.

My bag dropped to the floor with a thud. I buried my face in my mother’s shoulder and sobbed, releasing all the pain and frustration I had held inside for two lifetimes.

…

After three days at home, I returned to Pasadena with bags full of things my parents had packed for me.

As I walked into the yard, Leo, who was playing on the lawn, saw me. A look of panic crossed his face, and he immediately threw his arms out to block my way.

“Mommy, you can’t go inside!”

I was exhausted from the long drive. “Don’t be difficult, Leo. Let me in.”

“No! You just can’t!” He avoided my gaze, but stubbornly stood in my way.

A knot formed in my stomach. I pushed him aside and strode to the door.

When I saw what was happening inside, my world stopped.

On the living room sofa, Alex had his back to me. Chloe was lying in his arms, her cheeks flushed.

“What the hell are you doing?”