Chapter 3 Don't You Want To See Who I Am

It was a summer evening and the city was pressed down by the heat. Yolanda walked along the tree-lined path and turned towards the alley that led to her best friend Jennifer's store. As she got closer, she could hear the upbeat music getting louder and louder.

"What a pleasant surprise, Yolanda! I wasn't expecting you here." She heard a sharp and enthusiastic voice coming from before her as she walked towards the store's entrance. Yolanda lifted her head and saw Jennifer's smiling face.

"Have you had your dinner? I haven't seen you for just a week and you've already become so weak and fragile-looking. Did you miss me?" Jennifer walked up to her and asked in a concerned voice.

Her concern made Yolanda smile like an innocent child. For just a moment, she felt like she had no problems in her life. She knew that Jennifer cared about her, but she also knew that Jennifer's concern for her would only make her think about the miserable things that were a part of her life now, so she changed the topic of the conversation. "How has your business been doing lately?"

Jennifer's store was brightly-lit and colorful, even though it was small. She looked around with a frown and complained, "Not great, I'm afraid. I hardly get a few customers a day."

Upon hearing that, Yolanda couldn't help but feel sorry for her. She wondered if it would be a bad idea to ask her for help.

"By the way, Yolanda, how is your mom doing? Is she okay?" Jennifer asked, her eyes filled with worry as she poured Yolanda a glass of water.

"She is doing all right now," Yolanda replied, holding the glass of water in her hand. Although her mind was filled with so many thoughts and worries, she always managed to smile.

"That's great. These are some of the new styles that arrived just yesterday. You can take any outfit you'd like for free," Jennifer exclaimed, enthusiastically pointing to the rack of women's clothes.

"Thank you, Jennifer, but I can't accept your offer. I already have a lot of clothes," Yolanda replied nervously. After saying that, her face turned red from embarrassment.

She was no longer the girl who spoke mindlessly. Her voice shook for every word that she uttered. She had been defeated twice now, so she wasn't her prideful self anymore.

"But Yolanda, you've been wearing this dress for almost two years now," Jennifer blurted out with a pout.

Yolanda felt like her heart was in a knot as she awkwardly looked at her dress. It was not because she didn't like the dress, but because it had been two years since she had broken up with Kevin.

"What does it matter? As long as it's clean and in good condition, it can be worn for as long as it lasts," Yolanda said with a smile. She took a sip of the water and swallowed it just like she swallowed most of the bitterness in her life.

"I really don't know what to say. It hurts me to see you like this. Fate always makes people suffer, but you shouldn't let that stop you from having a good life. You used to be so happy," Jennifer said with a deep sigh. She knew how strong-willed and adamant Yolanda could be.

"Jennifer, I'm actually here because..." Yolanda tried to confess, but she couldn't. She had taken a long and tiring bus ride to get to the shop. But after meeting Jennifer, she couldn't tell her the reason behind her visit, because whenever she looked at Jennifer, her pride stopped her from doing so.

"What's wrong? Are you in trouble?" Jennifer asked nervously when she noticed Yolanda's hesitation.

Yolanda shook her head. "No. It's just that my job hasn't been paying me well. I would like to get a new job, one that preferably pays me every day. Do you know where I can find a job like that?"

"Are you sure? Is there really nothing else that's been troubling you?" Jennifer asked with a suspicious look.

Although Yolanda shook her head firmly, she couldn't help but feel guilty for lying to her friend. However, she couldn't bring herself to tell her the truth. "I'm afraid that I have to leave now. It's getting late and my mother will start to worry. Regardless, I couldn't talk to you about this over a phone call. I have to go home now. You know it's not easy to get a bus on the weekends, right? Help me find a job if you can," she said in a serious tone.

She couldn't stay in the shop any longer, for she feared that if she did, she might have to confess about her problems to Jennifer. Hence, after she said those words, Yolanda rushed out of the shop.

But before Yolanda had walked out of the door, Jennifer ran up to her and said, "Yolanda, wait! I know you're prideful, but as your friend, I can't watch you walk around wearing that old dress." She then handed her a bag of some new outfits.

Jennifer and Yolanda had been best friends since their high school years. Jennifer had helped her a lot during the past two years, so Yolanda was grateful to her.

"I'll accept it just this one time, okay?" she said with a smile. Yolanda knew that life was not easy for Jennifer either, so she accepted the outfits to make her happy. However, she couldn't ask her for money, knowing that she was going through tough times.

"Done! You can trust me when I say this, I will be successful very soon, I promise," Jennifer exclaimed with joy when Yolanda took the clothes.

Yolanda was surprised by her friend's words, but she was still worried about the rent, so she said, "Remember to eat, even if you are busy."

"The same goes for you, Yolanda. At least I would never starve myself, even if I'm busy. If your mother comes to know of you starving yourself to save money, she will be torn up about it."

Her kind words made Yolanda sniffle. She forced a smile and replied, "All right! It's time for me to go."

After she walked out of the shop, Yolanda felt helpless. She sat on a bench next to the pavement, staring at the constant stream of lights from the vehicles on the road. All of a sudden, she felt lost, like she didn't know what to do or where to go.

Would it help if she swallowed her pride and asked Andy for money?

She shuddered at the thought as soon as it came to her mind, and shook her head.

Yolanda had cut all ties with her dad two years ago, so she couldn't bring herself to go to him now.

As nightfall came, the street lights started to appear brighter and brighter. Yolanda stood up and crossed the road, mindlessly looking down. Her head was filled with many doubts and worries. Suddenly, she heard a screeching sound and saw a car come to an abrupt halt in front of her. She staggered for a few steps and stopped.

"Are you blind?" A man's cold voice came. Although he sounded indifferent, she felt like she had heard that voice before.

Ignoring the scratch on her elbow, Yolanda straightened herself up and said apologetically, "I'm sorry, I wasn't looking."

Yolanda didn't look at his face. All she saw was a pair of shiny leather shoes and well-tailored beige suit pants. A faint odor of cologne came from the man, making her feel nervous.

When Yolanda didn't hear any reply from the man, she apologized again. "I'm really sorry, sir. Please forgive me."

"Are you really going to keep your head down? Don't you at least want to see who I am?" She felt a slight tinge of disappointment in his voice, but it faded away soon and he said coldly, "Perhaps, you don't want me to see you down. Am I right?"

It was his voice. She had not heard that voice for two years now. Although she knew whose voice it was, she felt so strange hearing it.

Yolanda pursed her lips. She felt like she had a lump stuck in her throat, choking her. She didn't have the courage to look him in the eye, so she turned away from him and walked off.

Since he hated her so much, he should be satisfied looking at her misery. Besides, he must have expected this, right?