Chapter 1

Xavier Blackwood had a woman who occupied the first half of his life. She was his first love, the one who got away. Yet, I never doubted his love for me.

When I was twenty-one, I fell dangerously ill. I could barely take care of myself.

At that time, Xavier's company was just starting out. He didn't say a word but bought a cot to place right next to my bed.

If I made the slightest sound, he was awake before I was. He handled everything, even the most embarrassing parts of my recovery.

I couldn't stand being so helpless.

I lashed out countless times. I screamed, cried, and told him to get out and stay away from me.

But he would only gently wipe my face. He stroked my hair with such tenderness, over and over again.

When I finally calmed down, he would cup my face with red-rimmed eyes. "I'll always stay with you. I love you," he would whisper.

But now I realize that promises have an expiration date.

On my twenty-eighth birthday, his first love came back. He left me standing alone in the pouring rain while he kissed her.

I wiped my tears and packed my bags.

This time, I don't want you anymore, Xavier.

When Xavier returned, I was already lying in bed, scrolling through my phone.

My head felt heavy from the rain earlier. My brain was still a bit foggy.

He slipped under the covers quietly and pulled me into his arms from behind. Only then did I turn off the screen.

His warm breath brushed against my neck.

"What are you looking at so intently?" he asked softly, his voice teasing.

I thought to myself that if he knew what was on that screen, he wouldn't be joking.

The photo showed Xavier with his shirt half-open, a smirk on his lips. He was kneeling on the ground, looking completely satisfied. He was kissing Bianca Vance's lips with a look of pure devotion.

I didn't answer him. Instead, I turned around in the dark and stared into his eyes.

"Xavier, were you really at the office because of work today?" I asked in a low voice.

I was gambling. I told myself that if he confessed right then, I would pretend nothing happened.

His breathing hitched for a split second. "Of... of course I was."

"What's wrong, babe? Did something happen?" His tone was now laced with suspicion.

Xavier and I weren't married yet. Usually, when he called me "babe," my heart would flutter. Today, it made me feel nauseous.

I stared at him, catching the flash of guilt on his face. My heart sank. I had lost the gamble.

I looked away, my voice turning cold.

"It's nothing. Go to sleep. I still have some things to do."

In the past, he would have probed until he knew what was wrong. But tonight, he just seemed relieved. He let out two yawns to prove how exhausted he was.

"Okay, I'm crashing then."

I stood by the bed, watching him by the dim light from the bathroom.

Xavier was already fast asleep, his breathing steady. Yet, even in his sleep, he stayed in a position as if he were still holding me.

Over the years, everyone said I had won. They told me Xavier's heart was entirely mine.

He never stayed out late. He always wore our promise ring. Every day after work, he'd bring home a surprise gift for me.

I suddenly wondered if he wore our ring when he was with Bianca.

Did he think of me for even a second?

Did he call Bianca "babe" too?

At that moment, a wave of disgust washed over me. I felt like a massive joke.

Xavier, did you ever truly love me?

Xavier had chased me for a long time. It wasn't until I got sick at twenty-one that I finally relented.

I was practically an invalid back then.