Chapter 1

1.

The third time my boyfriend, Alex, ditched me for that girl from Brooklyn, I locked up my office at the MIT Lincoln Laboratory and accepted a transfer to New Mexico.

That night, they were celebrating her birthday at some dive bar called Doc Holliday's.

And I was on a flight to the desert, deleting every last picture of him.

Five years later, I snuffed out the Marlboro he offered me in a trash can at JFK.

He froze on the spot, while I murmured into my phone, "Yeah, I just landed, Julian."

On the other end was the steady voice of my fiancé, the Deputy Assistant Secretary for the Department of Homeland Security. "Welcome home. We need to talk about Officer Carter's recent... unprofessional public performance."

...

The day I flew back to New York, the only person I contacted was my liaison from the DoD.

But Alex showed up anyway.

So, I wasn't surprised to see him at the arrivals gate.

Five years hadn't changed him.

He still had those deep-set eyes, and his black leather jacket made him stand out in the crowd.

A few younger girls were stealing glances at him.

His fingers brushed the back of my hand as he took my suitcase―a deliberate touch, hot as an electric current.

"Claire, welcome back."

The car was right outside.

I didn't move.

His Adam's apple bobbed. "Your dad called. Worried sick. He asked me to pick you up."

I hesitated for a moment before following him to the car. I sat in the back.

"Don't you have work today?" I asked casually. "It's a Tuesday."

"Of course I do."

In the rearview mirror, his gaze felt like it could burn right through me.

"You're back."

I deliberately undid the top button of my trench coat, avoiding his eyes.

"It's been a long time, Alex."

He faltered for a second, then recovered.

"Let's get dinner. A welcome home celebration."

I shook my head. "No, thanks. The department has plans for me."

I looked down at my phone, pretending not to see him staring.

The screen was lit up.

[Landed yet?]

It was my fiancé, Julian Thorne.

I typed back: [Just did. Alex is giving me a ride.]

He replied instantly.

[Okay. I'll wrap things up here and be there tomorrow.]

I was about to type again when another message came through.

[Stay safe.]

A warmth spread through my chest. I curled my fingers, trying to hold onto the feeling.

Seeing me looking down, Alex spoke up.

"It's bad for your eyes, you know. Staring at your phone in the car."

I stopped.

It was that same old tone, like he was scolding a child.

I couldn't help but look up at him. Five years.

We hadn't spoken on the phone or texted once since I left.

Yet Alex was acting like nothing ever happened.

I put my phone down. "How are my parents?"

This trip back was a break after my project ended. And a chance to see my family.

After five years, I rarely bothered with the past anymore.

"They're great. But they miss you like crazy."

His tone was light. "I've been checking in on them."

I fell silent.

It was true. For the past five years, out of concern for my parents, he had helped them out with a lot of things.

A tight smile stretched across my lips.

"Thanks for looking out for them."

The words tasted like ash.

As I said it, Alex's grip on the steering wheel tightened, his knuckles turning white.

I used to boss him around for everything, asking him to grab my lunch, organize my lab data.

I even made him take my lab coats to the dry cleaners.

I'd just cling to his arm and whine, never saying thank you.

He would always just tap my head.

"Claire, you're hopeless, you know that?"

Waiting at a red light, Alex tapped his fingers on the wheel.

Then he asked.

"So, these last five years... have they been good to you?"