Chapter 2

2.

A flash of panic crossed David's eyes before he muttered a few excuses and took Leo upstairs.

In years past, they would have come home expecting a huge, Thanksgiving-style feast and a pile of gifts I’d wrapped myself, a celebration of our reunion.

Not this time. The dining table was bare. Not even a pizza box in sight.

David frowned.

"Sarah, what is going on with you today?"

He saw the redness in my eyes, sighed, and softened his tone.

"Are you still upset about the winter? I'll find a way to fix our immune system issues. I hate this goddamn winter for keeping me away when you needed me most."

My nails dug into my palms, drawing blood.

So he did remember.

The year I was pregnant, my mother was diagnosed with leukemia. The doctors said it was critical. David wanted to protect the baby, but I wanted to save my mom.

"I'm doing the bone marrow transplant. No one is stopping me."

No one faced a harder choice. I loved the baby in my belly, but this was the woman who gave me life.

But it was as if my mother knew. Her condition deteriorated rapidly, and she was no longer eligible for a transplant.

It was then that we found out she had secretly stopped her medication. She had given her chance at life to her grandchild.

I gritted my teeth and gave birth to Leo, only to be hit with severe postpartum depression from the hormonal crash.

Winter was the worst. When the snow buried everything, loneliness would swallow me whole.

I couldn't find joy in anything. Several times, I thought about ending it all with the hunting rifle, but then I would think of my son…

The child my mother died to bring into this world wasn't even grown. I could never pull the trigger.

I did everything to keep them with me. I'd bundle up like an astronaut, install the best air purification system, and wear an N95 mask inside my own home. But it seemed they couldn't even breathe the same air as me. The rashes always came back, and we could never find the cause.

David would grab our son and rush for the door.

"Sarah, the allergies are acting up, we have to go. Just hang in there. I'll bring him back in the spring."

I couldn't understand it. I’d scrub myself raw in the shower, convinced it was my fault.

I felt like I was being punished by God, and I would lie in the bathtub crying until I passed out.

Those winters were so painful they shattered my heart.

And it was all a complete and utter lie.

I pulled my hand away from David's grasp and went back to the master bedroom alone.

That night, Leo ended up in the ER anyway―he'd gotten greedy and eaten a peanut butter cup he’d hidden in his backpack.

A small child can't keep a secret. The allergic reaction made him delirious, and he kept murmuring:

"I want Aunt Emily… I don't wanna go home…"

Every word was an icicle stabbing into my heart. I had just finished taking notes from the doctor, and I nearly collapsed.

I handed David the notebook with all the instructions and sighed.

"Let's get a divorce. Let his Aunt Emily take care of him."

David thought I was joking, forcing a weak smile.

"He's just talking nonsense because of the fever. You can't believe that."

He looked me in the eyes, his explanation half-truth, half-lie.

"Emily, you know her. We haven't really talked since we got married. I ran into her once when I took Leo skiing. He's probably just mixed up his memories. It's the novelty of seeing someone new."

Before I could respond, Emily Parker herself rushed into the emergency waiting area, making a beeline for Leo's bed.

She hugged him tightly, then turned to scold me.

"Sarah, how could you let him eat peanuts? Leo is such a good boy, why would you let him suffer like this? He was perfectly fine and healthy when he was with me just a few days ago."