Chapter 3

3 I stayed at Rhonda's for a week. Jason didn't contact me once. Then, on the weekend, the casting results for the movie I'd auditioned for came out. Rhonda looked at me, hesitant.

"What is it? Did I not get it?" I asked, already expecting the worst.

"Not exactly. They said the female lead is still undecided. It's between you and Sarah. The male lead gets the final say…"

"Male lead?"

"It's Jason…"

Oh.

"Amy," Rhonda said, wringing her hands. "You're his girlfriend! He made you give up the lead role in the last show to Sarah. He has pull in the industry now… We should talk to him…"

"Rhonda," I shook my head. "Jason and I broke up."

Rhonda's eyes widened. "Really? For real?"

"You were there, weren't you?"

"I thought you were just fighting…"

"But Amy," Rhonda said, her voice full of concern. "Are you sure? Can you really let him go? It's Jason…"

Could I? I'd asked myself that question a thousand times. More than four years of love, companionship, shared moments. Even now, I could still remember the first time he nervously approached me, the way he'd stayed by my side for three days straight when I was sick, his red-rimmed eyes never leaving me, the time he drove five hundred miles just to catch a glimpse of me on set. But even the most vibrant paintings fade with time.

"Maybe you should go talk to him…"

Go back? I smiled. "I am going back." To get my things.

Jason was actually at the apartment we shared, which was rare these days. He was in his pajamas, clutching his phone, looking like he was waiting for a text. He seemed startled when he heard the door. Then his expression hardened. "Changed your mind? Decided to come back?"

I nodded. "I have."

I walked straight to the bedroom and opened the closet, trying to decide what to take. Jason followed me.

"I'm not even mad anymore. Just don't be so impulsive next time, okay? I got those hashtags about you taken down. Just apologize to Sarah publicly, and the lead role in the new movie is yours. It's just a movie role. Was it really worth all this drama?"

I pulled out a suitcase and opened it.

"Do you have a job lined up?" he asked, surprised.

"I terminated my contract." I didn't look up.

"What?!" His voice rose. "You didn't even discuss this with me?"

I sighed. "Why would I discuss it with you? We broke up, Jason."

"Break up, what…" He trailed off, then crouched beside me. "Amy, are you done with this now? It's not that big of a deal. You know I have a contract to pretend I'm dating Sarah. We've been doing this for years! You get upset about this every few months. It's exhausting. And why would we kiss in public anyway? You wanted to kiss me in front of everyone? You enjoy having your private life on display? Amy, can you think about me for once before you throw a fit?"

I looked at him steadily. "Jason, do you know why I agreed to play the second lead in that show?"

He hesitated.

"Because I missed you." So even though it was the role of the villain, I had taken it. I just wanted to be near him.

"Because of that? I had a contract, Amy! You knew that! And you know…," he paused, "they said you left the set because you had something to do."

I shook my head sadly. "Jason, I loved you, so I was willing to put up with a lot. But sometimes, just once, I wish my boyfriend had been there for me when things got tough. Do you know I was deliberately given a hard time on set? I had to film the falling-in-the-water scene ten times while I was on my period. I ended up with a fever so high I almost got pneumonia."

He froze.

"You don't know, do you? Because you weren't on set those days. You were sightseeing with Sarah."

"But…you said you had something to do…" he stammered.

I smiled bitterly. "Jason, I texted you that I was sick. You replied five hours later. Do you remember what you said?"

When Jason's text finally arrived, Rhonda had already rushed me, delirious with fever, to the hospital.

"You said…drink plenty of fluids."

He stared at me, stunned.

"Amy, I…"

"You call me impulsive. Maybe I am. But Jason," I said, closing the suitcase, "I loved you. That's why I put up with so much. All I wanted, just once, was for my boyfriend to be there for me when I needed him." The wrap party was just the last straw. What I wanted was so little. A quiet word of comfort, a piece of candy, a quick kiss, away from prying eyes. But I got nothing. Not once.

I picked up my suitcase, ready to leave. He grabbed my hand. "Amy, we've been together for four years. We fight, but we don't just throw away our relationship. Do you understand?" His eyes bored into mine.

"I understand."

He looked at me in disbelief. "And you still want to break up? Our relationship means so little to you?"

I shook my head, not wanting to argue anymore. "Jason, we're not breaking up. We are broken up."

I pulled my hand away and walked a few steps, then turned back. "You know, I'm usually pretty easygoing. I don't like fighting. We had something good. Let's end it amicably. I'm leaving the industry, so I'm not going to write some tell-all or post our pictures to ruin you. Consider it," I paused, "a parting gift."

He stood there, stunned. Then he rushed towards me and grabbed my arm. "Amy, stop this. Where will you go without me?" His voice dropped. "If you walk out that door today, there's no going back."

The doorbell rang.

I turned to open the door and froze.

Sarah, seeing me, also froze. Then, her gaze flicked past me to Jason, her voice shy. "Oh, hi Jason. I think I left a bra here the other day when I…borrowed your shower…"

Silence. I started to laugh. I turned to Jason. "Is borrowing showers also part of your contract?"

Jason hesitated. "Friends help each other out. It's just a shower, Amy. Do you have to be so sarcastic? If you don't trust me at all, then maybe we should just break up."

Yes. Just break up. We were already broken up.

I stepped into the elevator. Jason started to follow, but Sarah grabbed his arm. "Jason! You can't go down there! The paparazzi are downstairs! They'll see you!"

He hesitated. The elevator doors closed.