Chapter 1

1.

On my thirty-eighth birthday, I found out my husband Derek had booked five Coachella VIP passes.

The guests were Derek, my son Jaden, my daughter Lily, and my sister Vanessa.

I wasn't on the list.

After I watched them leave, I turned around, sold the house, and booked myself a custom travel itinerary.

Then the whole family had regrets.

***

On the morning of my birthday, I worked up the nerve to ask Derek.

"Remember Coachella? Back when we first got married? You said we'd go. Can we make it happen this year?"

Derek was polishing the neck of his Fender Stratocaster with lemon oil. His fingers paused for one second. His brow furrowed.

"Come on, Maya. You're thirty-eight. You're not some starry-eyed teenager. Do you even know what Coachella is? Three days without a shower, sand in your teeth, packed in a crowd reeking of weed. You really think you can handle that?"

Sixteen-year-old Jaden leaned halfway down the staircase, AirPods still wedged in his ears, that specific smirk teenage boys wear fixed on his face.

"Mom, you can't even tell Tame Impala from Tyler, the Creator. What would you even do at a music festival? Make us sandwiches?"

He mimed spreading avocado mash on whole wheat bread, cracked himself up, and laughed at his own joke.

Ten-year-old Lily was sunk into the couch scrolling TikTok. She didn't even lift her eyes.

On the kitchen island sat twelve blueberry muffins I'd baked after crawling out of bed at six in the morning. Neat rows on the tray. All cold. The date on the coffee machine display was blinding―October 12th.

My thirty-eighth birthday.

No one said a word. No cake on the table. No card. Not even one of those three-ninety-nine birthday cards from the rack by the Trader Joe's register.

It's not that I wanted a surprise party. I just thought―someone should remember.

No one did.

Late that night, I was tidying the living room when I saw Derek's iPad Pro charging on the coffee table. A notification from Airbnb slid onto the screen.

I swiped it open. The passcode was Jaden's birthday.

A whole vacation rental in Palm Springs. Pool. Five VIP three-day Coachella passes. Main stage front-section wristbands included. Check-in was three days away.

I scrolled down. The guest names popped up: Derek, Jaden, Lily, and Vanessa.

I backed out. Tapped in again. Backed out. Tapped in.

My name was not there.

I was holding the mug of Sleepytime tea I'd just made for him. My fingers had gone white around the handle.

Thirty-eight years old. I got a gift.

I finally saw exactly what I was in this family.

I set the mug on his nightstand. Didn't smash it. I wanted to. But I set it down.

In the bathroom, Derek was humming. A song from his band, Static Reservoir―"Paper Sun." A track that got played twice on KUTX's late-night slot and was never mentioned again.

He was warming up for Coachella. Three days from now, he'd take the kids and my sister and plunge headfirst into the loudest desert on earth.

And on this reservation, I didn't exist.

None of this family's plans had ever included me.