Chapter 2 Zoe Morgan

I love you… As the rain falls relentlessly, I still hear the timbre of Arthur's voice telling me this as if it were now. It's like a ghost chasing me around every corner, all the time. I can't forget him, not after that. Four months later, and we are finally here, experiencing one of the happiest days for Elisabeth. The day of your marriage to the mayor of the city. There is a special glow on your face. She smiles when she looks at me, but her eyes take on a distant, worried look as she gazes out the window at the rain, one hour imperceptible, almost charitable, and minutes later just as fierce and blatant. Now I can't take my eyes off my mother. Not even the cloudy sky and the rainy day erased the brightness of his eyes. I can dazzle her dressed as a bride, even if my eyes filled with tears clouded my vision a little. —What do you think, Zoe? – She asks, her voice breaking. —You look beautiful, Mom, – I reply, smiling. She walks towards me, slightly emotional, and wraps me in a tight and warm hug. — Let's stop – I pull away and look into her eyes – before you smudge all that makeup. Nicole approaches, smiling, and helps Elisabeth put on her veil. I can see your hands shake when you first hold your bouquet of flowers. That wedding dress, with that beautifully designed lace, was the dream of many women. I had never seen anything as beautiful as this. We entered the limousine rented by the mayor – this time paid with his money – and headed towards the church. I don't know, the fact of seeing my mother getting married is unreal to me. It is likely that the penny has not dropped yet. It's also likely that I'm in a trance with reality, knocking on my door warning me that starting today I'm going to live under the same roof as Arthur Bernardo. For the last four months, my routine has been divided between teaching classes and going to the shops, picking out buffers and preparing Elizabeth's wedding decorations. Paulo insisted on getting married as soon as possible before the next elections, and even postponed Arthur's long-awaited surgery. In fact, I haven't seen him in so long that I don't even know what he thinks about all this. I know your desire to walk again one day, and I know how fundamental this step is. Surely it wasn't that difficult for him to give up something so important for something much bigger at his brother's request. After that day when he proposed to me, we didn't talk anymore. “I love you” was the last thing I heard from him since then. He told me that, and left, leaving a choking lump in my throat. Two days later, exactly, Arthur traveled to the capital and started physiotherapy and all the exams that precede the surgery. During those long four months we saw each other only once, from afar, at the church door before the ceremony rehearsed. Now I prepared myself emotionally to meet him once more, walking beside him down the aisle. We walk together to seal once and for all the unity of our families. As soon as I get out of the car, the first face I see is his; Arthur, so handsome, dressed in an elegant suit. He smiles at me and it's inevitable that he won't return that smile. My heart hammers in my chest, my hands shake as I hold his once more. I want to say something, anything. Maybe a hello would be enough, but I can't. Nothing comes out of me but a long, shuddering sigh, hoping to calm my heart. I could stay there all night, just feeling the warmth of Arthur's hand in mine, letting the silence sink in between us. — Did I ever tell you how beautiful you look? Arthur starts to speak but doesn't look at me. I look down at the wheelchair, knowing that a flush has invaded my face. — I don't remember hearing anything like that from you lately. The godparents were already entering the church one by one. He looks up and smiles. — Very rude remark, Zoe, after a compliment like that. — Well, I learned from a handsome young man I met one day – I commented laughing – but I thank you anyway. — I'm sorry to inform you that this boy you're referring to die in that terrible accident. Only me left. Can you settle for that? — That's enough – I squeeze your hand affectionately – it couldn't be better. He kisses my hand tenderly, and we are silent again. I turn and see Eros with the grimmest expression possible. There was no sparkle in his gaze. He looks disappointed, sad, making me feel like the worst woman ever for hurting him like that. I wonder how long he's been watching us, and I haven't had a chance to produce an answer. I look forward. All the godparents had entered, contemporary music was playing in the background, our turn had finally arrived. Will we be able to follow the protocol properly? Or is Arthur comfortable in this position? He moves the wheelchair as I accompany him, halfway down the aisle, to the altar. More than two hundred looks full of expectations, questions, and so many other things that I prefer not to imagine falls on us. The smile almost disappeared from my lips. I'm once again being the center of attention, and I hate it. I watch Arthur with his head held high, so sure of himself. Is that supposed to cheer me up? I can see that he doesn't care what others certainly say about him, it doesn't faze him, and I should follow the same path. The truth is simple: time was suspended in the air and when we finally reached the altar, I almost had to force my legs to carry out their simple role of supporting me. Elisabeth would hate to know that Arthur and I unwittingly get more attention than she does at her own wedding. The ceremony takes place with my mother entering the church hall so emotional that for a moment I imagine her passing out in the middle of the way. Paulo's eyes widened with pure devotion to see her coming so slowly straight into his arms. I watch the man at her side who leads her to the altar. Strangely, he looks more handsome than he used to. An almost perfect gentleman that any good girl in that city would like to get to know better one day. Elisabeth knew this so well that she didn't think of anyone but Eros to enter the church with her and make it clear to anyone that he was still her favorite son-in-law. The priest speaks and it seems like an eternity. The ceremony was over, and I realized I got more emotional than I should have. People greet the bride and groom and I wonder what time it will end. — Today was good, huh, Zoe – I heard that voice behind me and I turned around. It was Naomi. — I would say special – I hug her happily – and a little tiring. — You mean boring, right, girl. Ah, the longest sermon I've ever heard – we laughed together – these things should be banned at weddings. I agree with a slight nod of the head, and we are silent for a few seconds. — How do you feel about the changes your life has taken? — I? – I look confused, but I know what she's talking about – incredibly surprised and not at all prepared. —Arthur seems happy about the idea. I look at Arthur, who smiles. It tells friends something funny, so funny that their eyes sparkle. Next thing I know, I'm laughing with him without even knowing what. —And you too, – she concludes. — Me what? I stop laughing immediately when I realize what a ridiculous role I'm playing. —You're also happy that you two live under the same roof now. — I wouldn't say happy, girl — I say — I'm certainly scared shitless. — Fear? – Naomi doesn't seem to believe it and laughs – There's nothing to be afraid of, dear Zoe. The most that can happen under that roof is you find out right away that he's the one you want to be with in the end. — Fear? – Naomi doesn't seem to believe it and laughs – There's nothing to be afraid of, dear Zoe. The most that can happen under that roof is you find out right away that he's the one you want to be with in the end. A lump choke my throat when I think about it and prevents me from uttering another word. She was being too kind in concluding that, because, deep down, I know that this is just one of several possibilities that may happen in that house. — Aren't you going to take pictures with your new family? - She asks, teasing me – Your mother seems desperate looking for you. I look at Elisabeth who has her neck stretched out in the middle of the crowd looking for something, when she sees me she waves her hand. — You took the day to make fun of me – I hug her saying goodbye – I'll tell you later how it went. — Deal, – she smiles. I slipped away from the crowd, still smiling at the comical way in which Naomi treats the facts of my life. Deep down, I like to have become good friends. Then a family photo shoot begins, but it doesn't last long. A man with inappropriate attire for the event cuts through the crowd of guests, stopping right in front of us. For a moment that face looks familiar to me, but maybe not, he just looks like someone I once knew. — Hello, Elisabeth, – he says. I look at my mother's startled expression, and I'm immediately sure that she knows him well and that she doesn't like his presence there at all. — What the…– Her eyes fill with tears, her hands shake. I can see the dread spread across the beautifully made-up face of Colorado's newest first lady – What are you doing here? — Can't you imagine? – He asks. Paulo is about to interrupt the dialogue because he realizes that Elisabeth is not well, but he cannot hear what he whispers in her ear next. She takes a step forward, then another. Everyone seems curious, even me. I think about asking her what's going on, but I decide against it because I know that in the state Elisabeth is in, she won't tell me a single word. — Please go away, – Elisabeth begs. — I'm sorry – he says – I need to meet my daughter, and you can't deny me that. My heart freezes. I hold my breath. One step after another, and I'm stopped by a hand that grabs my shoulder and lovingly asks me to calm down. I look at Eros right behind me and I can't believe this is happening to me. — Daughter? I ask, but I don't know exactly who. Elisabeth walks quickly towards me and looks at me desperately. —Zoe, – she tries to finish, but is interrupted. —So, you're Zoe? – I don't remember seeing him approach, just asking myself that already close to me – So are you, my daughter?