Chapter 1

1

Married to Joy for thirty freaking years, and not once, not even when I was dying in that damn car wreck, did she ever tell me she loved me.

Even with my last breath, Joy couldn't spare a single day to come see me, to say goodbye.

I regretted it. I regretted loving her for so damn long.

Before I kicked the bucket, Joy's daughter asked if I had any last words for her.

I just shook my head, and mumbled, "If I could go back to filling out my college application, I wouldn't go to the same damn university as your mother."

And with that, full of bitterness, full of regret, I closed my eyes.

...

Maybe some higher power felt sorry for me because, goddamn, I woke up staring at the college application website.

I checked the date like a hundred times, shaking my head, before I finally accepted it: I was reliving the day I had to make the call about where I was going to spend the next four years.

This time, things would be different. I wouldn't repeat my mistakes.

I glanced at my phone and the string of texts I'd sent to Joy.

"Joy, baby, which college are you applying to?"

"Answer me! I want to be with you at college, I wanna spend every second by your side."

Like a dozen messages, and all I got back was four words: "Get a life, loser."

I gave a bitter laugh. How could I have chased her for so long when decades together had brought me nothing but misery?

They say if a simp gets the girl, he's not a simp anymore, he's devoted. Total bullshit.

Joy and I were childhood friends. I was a year older, and I was totally smitten with Joy from day one, always trailing after her like a lost puppy.

I started hitting on her in high school.

I kept chasing until graduation, and she finally agreed to go steady with me.

But it wasn't her decision, not really.

Our families had known each other forever.

My grandpa and hers were like blood brothers, both big in business.

But Joy's parents died in a car accident.

With no one to run the family business, vultures started circling.

My parents stepped in to save her family's ass.

Before he died, her grandpa, worried about the families, basically forced Joy to marry me to keep the alliance strong.

Joy had a boyfriend back then, some jock, Mr. Popular.

But family was family, and she couldn't say no, so she dumped the dude and said yes to me.

My parents asked what I thought. I'd been head over heels for her since I was a kid, so of course I was all in.

I knew she didn't have any family left in the world.

So after we got hitched, I bent over backwards to make her happy.

But she always gave me the cold shoulder.

Besides the day-to-day crap, she never said anything personal.

Our marriage was like two roommates sharing a house.

She slowly took over the family company, and we talked even less.

She even hired her ex-boyfriend, right there in her company.

We fought about it all the time.

She could smile at strangers, even at rivals.

But she always had that ice-queen look when she was with me.

It's pathetic, but we never even went on a proper date.

I don't even know what it's like to go to the movies.

Holding my wife's hand while strolling down the street? A total fantasy.

Every time I suggested she take a break, that we go out and do something fun, she'd snap, "Grow up, Chad. I don't have time to play house."

And then she'd jet off to some fancy party with her ex.

She thought I was just trying to trick her into going on a date.

I didn't know what I did wrong.

I was busting my ass running my own company, working myself to the bone.

And I still made time for her.

Waking up at six to make her breakfast, while I ate her leftovers.

Then I'd drive her to work.

She had a sensitive stomach, so I had a kitchen built in my office.

I'd skip lunch to make her a healthy meal, then drive an hour to her office to deliver it.

Every night, I was there, waiting to pick her up from work.

Everyone at both companies thought we were the perfect couple.

CEO husband, CEO wife, a match made in heaven.

People were jealous of my "perfect life."

I felt happy every time when I heard those compliments.

But it was all a damn lie.

Was I happy?

The closest we ever got was when she gave birth to our daughter, ensuring my family line didn't end.

But to her, it was just a chore, paying back my parents for their kindness.

I still remember the day my daughter was born. She handed me the baby, her face blank, and said, "We're even."

Looking back, I can only laugh.

Loving her for so long, and all I got was a "debt paid."

Never again.

You can't force love, and you can't live on it.

I took a deep breath.

My mom came in.

She said, "Chad, Joy wants to apply to NYU's finance program. You're good enough to get in, but it's a reach, right?"

I knew Joy wouldn't tell me directly, so I got my mom to pry.

I shook my head. "I'm not going to New York. I'm going to Indiana."

My mom stared at me, shocked. "What? Indiana? You won't be with Joy? But you're so…"

I cut her off.

Last time, Joy and I both went to NYU.

But not this time.

Joy would meet the guy she mooned over for decades.

And I'd go to the school I missed because of her.

Indiana, my dad's alma mater. He met my mom there.

He always told me it was a place that brought happiness.

I wanted to see for myself, because I never knew happiness with Joy.

I didn't want to live miserably again. I wanted to be happy.

I typed the school name, clicked confirm without a second thought.

My scores were high enough to get in, so I didn't worry.

As the system processed it, I felt a weight lift.

This time, I wouldn't have anything to do with Joy.

Goodbye, Joy. No, scratch that. See you never.