Chapter 1

On Thanksgiving Eve, my stingy Uncle Silas actually sent a hundred-dollar gift card in our family group chat. I was quick enough to snag eighty-eight dollars of it.

Tommy, Silas's son who just got married, immediately started acting snarky.

"Percy sure is fast when it comes to grabbing free money. Too bad he isn't that fast at getting married. Unlike me, I actually have a life."

He then posted a wedding photo in the group. A three-hundred-pound slob hugging a pretty girl―he did look smug.

I replied with a heavy dose of sarcasm: "Your wedding cost fifty thousand dollars, didn't it? Why not send a five-hundred-dollar Venmo to keep the celebration going?"

1

The end of the year is always the busiest time at the office. After pulling several all-nighters, I finally headed home for the holidays with a bank balance that had a few more zeros added to it.

I've worked hard for years, and now I have more money than I can spend. The price? I'm thirty and still single.

My family has no idea I'm the CEO of a publicly-traded company. They just think I'm the same guy who comes home alone every year.

However, going home for the holidays brings its own set of headaches. We live in a nice suburban neighborhood with central heating, and every year, my Aunt Beatrice and her family barge into our house for Thanksgiving.

My mom always says, "She's your only aunt. We're family, so don't be so petty."

But it isn't about being petty. Every year, Beatrice's family arrives empty-handed and leaves as if they're moving our entire house into theirs.

On Thanksgiving morning, I stood by the door, waiting for them. As expected, they showed up with absolutely nothing.

As soon as I opened the door, Beatrice greeted me with her booming, obnoxious voice.

"Is that Percy? Did you come back alone again, or did you finally find someone to tolerate you?"

She was clearly trying to show off her newly married son. I gave a polite, fake smile, rolled my eyes internally, and didn't bother answering.

Silas and Tommy followed her in. Tommy was wearing a pair of knockoff Nikes and holding a refurbished iPhone, strutting as if he owned the place.

The three of them sat down on the sofa immediately. My dad hurried to get them water and snacks, while my mom was busy in the kitchen preparing a feast for everyone.

Silas looked around our living room like he was a health inspector checking for violations.

"Arthur, did you forget to pay the heating bill? It doesn't feel as warm as last year."

Silas asked my dad, his hand feeling the vent.

"The furnace has been acting up a bit. It's not running at full capacity," my dad replied with a humble smile while peeling an apple.

It's one thing to be a freeloader, but it's another to insult the host. I really don't know how we ended up with such parasitic relatives.

"Well, we're going to suffer in this cold house today," Silas complained, stuffing a handful of grapes into his mouth.

Then, Tommy kicked my leg with his fake sneakers.

"Hey Percy, you've been working in the city for years, but you still dress as plain as you did in high school."

I looked at his shoes with the crooked swoosh, his puffer jacket with the misspelled logo, and his designer pants that were clearly cheap polyester.

I leaned in and whispered with a harmless smile, "Tommy, you should probably trim the loose threads off those fake Nikes. And your jacket looks a bit deflated. Maybe spend less on the brand and more on the quality next time."

Tommy stuffed a grape into his mouth and spoke with unearned confidence.

"My wife bought these for me for the wedding. They're high-end designer. You wouldn't understand style if it hit you in the face."

I chuckled. "Except for you, nothing in this room you're wearing is real."

Beatrice noticed me teasing her golden boy and quickly changed the subject.

"So, Percy, what are you doing for work these days? How much do you make? Why can't you find a wife? You're not exactly a total loser to look at."

I was used to their passive-aggressive comments by now, so I retorted calmly.

"Well, I'm not like your son. His wedding cost fifty grand. Anyone would think you were buying a bride, not a daughter-in-law."

Beatrice's face turned pale instantly. Just as she was about to snap back, my mom walked out of the kitchen with a spatula.

"Tommy, why didn't you bring your new wife today?"

Beatrice quickly chimed in, "She went to see her own parents first. She'll be here in a few days."

I sat there eating an apple and muttered, "She probably just didn't want to freeze in our house according to Silas."

Tommy glared at me with pure hatred.

"At least I have a wife. Unlike you, you're just a pathetic bachelor who'll end up living off his parents."