Chapter 2

It’s a risk. But things aren’t nearly as expensive on Stippe as they were on Korpillion. And I have over three million credits in my account now. I agree and pay the man. “You still don’t know who gave you the ship or the credits?” my father asks as we walk down the street when we’re done eating and dealing. My stomach twists in a knot. “No,” I lie. I hate lying. But how could he ever understand the complexity of the situation between Valen and I when I don’t really even understand it myself? How could I ever tell him the only Nero in the galaxy helped me, when he just helped kill so many people on Korpillion? “I don’t understand,” Torin says, shaking his head. “Who has that kind of money? And why you?” “I don’t know, Dad,” I say, looking for a shop to go into, just as a distraction, for a change of subject. “Maybe it was an accident. Maybe it was meant to go to someone else and I just got lucky.” I glance over at my dad, and I’m relieved that his eyes lighten a bit. There’s a look of dawning in his eyes, like that explanation makes total sense. “Of course,” he says, nodding his head. “It is a terrible thing that the intended recipient didn’t escape when they were supposed to. But I cannot say that I am ungrateful.” My stomach twists a little more. That money and that ship made it to its exact intended recipient. I escaped just as soon as I possibly could. “Me, too,” I say, offering my dad a little, thin-lipped smile. But I have to look away, because I hate lying to my dad, even though I’ve done so much of it in the past six lunars. In the heart of town there is an inn. They only have three rooms left, and Dad took a key before he found that out, and Reena gave me one dark look, daring me to make her share with anyone, and took off with her key. Which left me and Zayne sharing. Great. Together, we climb the narrow steps up to the second floor. We pass by four other rooms before coming to the one that matches the number on our key. I unlock the door, and without saying anything, we step inside. I put my packages on the desk just inside the room, filling the whole tabletop. I picked up some clothing, some artisan soaps and skin salves, and some genuine leather boots. “You can take the bed,” Zayne says as he closes the door behind us. I turn, seeing that there is only one bed. It’s larger than my bunk on the ship or the one I had back on Korpillion. It would fit two people, but only people who want to snuggle. I’m about to argue, to say that’s stupid. We can sleep next to each other like two regular people. But he slips into the washroom before I can say anything. It’s his lucky day. I hear water running and then the sound of it hitting a body. I sink onto the bed, exhausted. I kick my boots off, letting them scatter more sand across the already sandy floor. Flopping back, I let my arm rest across my eyes. I doubt I’ll get much sleep tonight. If Zayne is pressed so close up against me, I’m going to smell his skin. I’m going to feel it. I’m going to remember. I’m going to remember how sweet and flirtatious he was when he got transferred to my quadrant. I’m going to remember how he surprised me with a vat of mechanical grease one day—not romantic in the least, but thoughtful, considering my job. I’m going to remember how he nervously asked me to go with him to the musical screening over the weekend. I’m going to remember our first kiss in the dark at the screening. I’m going to remember the feeling of his hand on my lower back. On my neck. His fingers in my hair. His lips on mine, his tongue in my mouth. I’m going to remember how his body felt against mine. Lying here in the dying light, I contemplate. I changed my life and began making Neron weapons because I was bored. I became reckless and stepped into illegal circles because I couldn’t stand the thought of my life forever staying the same, day after day. But it’s all changed now. I’m not even on the same planet anymore. I’m never going back. Zayne and I ended because of all that stuff before. Do our new circumstances change anything? I hear the door open, and I pretend I’m already asleep. But through the dim, nearly dark light, I stare at Zayne, watching as he digs through his own packages to grab some clothes. I may still be attracted to Zayne. His face hasn’t changed, his body is still the same one that drew me in nearly two solars ago. But I study the serious expression on his face. I can see the weight on his shoulders. And I know. We’re different people now.