Chapter 3

He may still think he’s in love with me, that maybe someday we will find our way back into each other’s arms. But I am not the same girl I was a solar ago. I am no longer the woman he thinks I am. We can’t go back. I let my eyes slide closed again, keeping my breathing deep and even. But through the dark of the weight of my arm against my eyes, I make out other dark shapes. Dark pants. Boots and buckles. A black hood and a dark mask. Black hair. But vivid blue eyes. I’m not the same person I was a solar ago. I don’t even know who or what I am anymore. But there is one person in the galaxy who does. And because I let myself trust him, I don’t know if I can ever trust myself again. Fully supplied and stocked, we take back to the skies, speeding past the moons of Stippe, and then their sun is long behind us. We have enough supplies on board to last us a lunar. We will make it clear to the Q sector before we need to stop again. The Frank puts in the coordinates and autopilots the ship. A week into the journey, I find myself on the command deck, looking out at the stars. A meteor shower is going on just out from us, and I watch with fascination. Occasionally I’d be able to see stars from Korpillion, but not often. The lights on the planet are so bright, the sky above just looks like a dark blue haze. But out here, there is an endless supply of stars and moons. The door to the living quarters opens and out steps Reena. When she sees the observation deck is already occupied, she hesitates. She was looking for solitude, but must not care enough to turn back. She takes a seat behind the inactive Frank. “It’s so quiet out here,” she says, propping her feet up on the seat across from her. “I still can’t get used to it. I haven’t slept well since we left Korpillion.” “The mines were awfully loud,” I say with a little nod. “Not just the mines though, the entire planet,” she says, looking out the view port. “So much motion, so many people. They all create noise. But out here…” “It’s so still,” I say. And I feel it. We may be rocketing through space, but everything around us is still. Peaceful. Quiet. Reena nods. We’re quiet for a while, just looking out at the endless space. “Did you know?” she asks after a few long minutes. “Know what?” I ask without looking at her. “That you’re a Nero.” Her words rip my eyes from their gaze out the window, back to her. She said the words so simply. So calmly. Like they don’t mean anything life-changing. “I’m not a Nero,” I say, dragging my eyes back to the window, forcing myself to not look at her. “I saw you, Nova,” she says. “I saw you keep those rocks from falling on you. They would have killed you. But you raised your hands, and all the Neron in the air gathered around you and prevented those rocks from crushing you.” I refuse to say anything, to look at her. It doesn’t feel real now. It feels like a dream I had. “You wouldn’t be able to do what you did unless you were like him.” Him. The last Nero. Valen Nero. “I’m nothing like him,” I say the words in a quiet hiss. My chest aches. My heart hurts. I want… I feel… I shove whatever is inside me down, deep down. “Why did he help you escape?” Reena asks. She keeps pushing, but in that quiet, calm, collected, elegant way of hers. She doesn’t like me, but she hasn’t exposed me to my father or Zayne yet. But she wants to press me until I squirm. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say, still refusing to look at her. She’s quiet for a moment. I’m aware of the gears turning in her head, putting things together, making assumptions, trying to figure this puzzle out. “Lies will only leave you feeling alone,” she says. She rises to her feet, preparing to leave. But she hesitates and I feel her eyes on me. “Lying to yourself, worst of all. No one and nothing in this galaxy is black and white, Nova. Don’t punish yourself with that belief.” I press the back of my knuckles to my lips, trying to pretend like I didn’t hear her. I keep staring at the stars as she walks back to the door, leaving me alone. Emotions pool in my eyes as her words keep echoing back to me, over and over again. Alone. Alone. I feel so alone.