Chapter 3

3.

Spencer finally walked out of the hotel when the snow on my umbrella had grown thick.

He was only wearing a thin dress shirt.

The black cashmere coat I got him for Christmas last year was draped over Chloe's shoulders.

That slash of black was jarring against the white snow.

She was looking up at Spencer, saying something with a soft smile on her face, her body leaning unconsciously closer to his.

Spencer's head was tilted slightly, listening intently.

The dim, yellow light from the porch lamps cast a glow on them both.

I had to admit, they looked good together.

My sudden appearance surprised both of them.

I looked at Spencer's nose, which was red from the cold.

"Where's your coat?"

Chloe clutched the coat tighter and spoke in a soft, delicate voice.

"It's my fault. I get cold so easily, and Spencer let me wear it."

She turned to Spencer with a sweet smile.

"Thanks to your coat, and thanks to you helping me organize my research framework, Professor Albright said he's very interested in our project."

"You worked so hard tutoring me these past two weeks. I have to treat you to a big dinner tomorrow to thank you."

Chloe effortlessly shifted the conversation to academics.

And just as effortlessly, she excluded me from their world.

She glanced at me.

Her eyes held a tiny, unconcealed flicker of triumph.

Spencer frowned.

"You should wear more next time. If you catch a cold, it'll affect the project's progress."

"This project is difficult. Even though Professor Albright is interested, you're not capable of completing it on your own yet. Don't forget to keep doing your research. The deadline is the day after tomorrow."

The smile on Chloe's face froze for a second before she quickly recovered, nodding obediently.

"I know. With you helping me, I'm sure I can do it."

She took the coat off.

"The coat is really warm, but it's too cold out. You should have it back."

"Don't bother."

I spoke up, my voice as flat as if I were talking about a stranger's business.

"It's dirty now. I don't want it."

Chloe's smile vanished.

Spencer took the coat, put it on, and looked at me.

"Weren't you going to have dinner with me?"

We ended up at a fast-food joint on the corner of the street.

Spencer always forgot to eat when he was busy. He ate slowly, his eyes glued to his phone screen.

I snatched his phone out of his hand.

"Just eat."

I opened his iMessage and started scrolling down.

The screen was filled with conversations. My thumb ached from scrolling before I finally found my chat at the very bottom, a red "99+" badge glaring at me.

I found it almost funny.

Chloe's conversation was right there in his pinned list.

Her contact name was "Chloe - Joint Project."

Their profile pictures were both professional headshots, their names their real names.

In a way, they looked more like professional partners than anything else.

I pointed to the pinned chat and asked him about it.

Spencer said flatly, "I didn't do it. Chloe probably did it herself when she was using my phone to look something up."

So Chloe could just use his phone whenever she wanted.

The permissions I had, Chloe had too.

The permissions Chloe had, I didn't necessarily have.

I rested my chin on my hand and looked at him.

"You can't find ten minutes to reply to my messages, but you have plenty of time to help her revise her project framework."

"When are you ever going to actually care about my feelings?"

He explained, his voice devoid of warmth.

"This project is important. It affects my future Ph.D. application. It's all for our future."

He paused, as if he couldn't comprehend my logic.

"Why are you always so focused on these unimportant little things?"

There it was again. That same line.

I didn't want to waste my breath arguing with him about whether this was a "little thing" anymore.

I handed him the gift I had prepared.

After all these years, I thought maybe we deserved one last chance.

Inside the box were little mementos from our life together.

The first love letter he ever wrote me, a strange rock we found while hiking in a national park...

And a breakup letter.

If he opened the gift right there, I would try to talk to him one more time.

Spencer looked surprised.

"Sorry, I forgot to get you a gift. I'll make it up to you in a few days."

He took it from me.

His fingertips had just brushed the ribbon on the box.

Then his phone rang.

Spencer's fingers immediately moved from the gift to his phone screen.

Chloe's voice, choked with sobs, came through the receiver.

"Spencer, my stomach hurts so bad... I can't drive. Please, you're the only person I can trust right now."

I spoke coldly.

"Is there no one else at the hotel? Can't you just call 911?"

The person on the other end ignored me, continuing to sob and call out "Spencer" over and over.

Spencer frowned and stood up, ready to leave.

"Where are you? I'm coming right now."

I grabbed the corner of his shirt.

"Do you have to be the one to go? What about everyone else?"

He turned back to look at me.

In the dim light of the fast-food restaurant.

I couldn't tell if the emotion in his eyes was anxiety or annoyance.

I only heard the urgency in his voice.

"The deadline is the day after tomorrow. If this gets delayed..."

Spencer paused, as if trying to soothe me, or maybe just to placate me.

"I'll open the gift later. I'll be back as soon as I get her to the hospital. It won't take long."

The door of the restaurant opened, and a gust of cold wind blew in.

I looked at my hand, at the fingers he had just pulled away from. I realized something with a delayed sense of clarity:

Maybe he felt both anxiety and annoyance.

The anxiety was for his project. The annoyance was for me.

He took the gift with him, but it didn't matter when he opened it anymore.

This time, I didn't hesitate for a second.

I sent him a message: "Spencer, we're breaking up."